Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous...

[MarkG]

Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can
be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a
recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to
protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green
garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed
up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream. The husband (who was taking a shower)
ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She
told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About
that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He
thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the
floor. His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him
up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him
on the stretcher, and started carrying him out. About that time, the
snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician
saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke
his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called
on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself
with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he
decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in
relief. But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions,
where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted,
the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to
revive her. The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at
the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and
slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods,
knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor
lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that
the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle
of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived.

Breathe here.....

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a
drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the
women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his
sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of
the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit
the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered
and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other
policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into
the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced
into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed
into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire
department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they
were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead
wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a
ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was
repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was
right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold
snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they
should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her.

[Yellow Jacket]

For Pete's sake! Leave the stupid plants outside! It would be a whole lot cheaper. . .

lol....good one Mark!

[ringadingh]

That was great. I enjoyed the read.

[basco]

Damn Plants :)

[Top Cat]

That's why I shoot every snake I can find in Cindy's plants outside. They make shot shells for the 22 caliber and I use a pistol to dispach them It's a freekin' riot

I hope you're a good shot TC...or poor Cindy's plants!!

[dakals]

That was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mmartin]

Now that tells you alot about human nature
great read

[ridemslow]

Sad thing it, It's probaly the truth.