31 Things You Won't Hear A Southener Say

Loafer · 07-02-2015, 10:40 AM

31. When I retire, I'm movin' north.
30. Oh I wouldn’t dare; she's only sixteen.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken with a slice
of lime.
26. We don't keep no guns in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Wrestling is fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits,
grits, and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a sh** who won the Civil War?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak.
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
12. The tires on that truck are too damn big.
11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
9. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
8. I've got two cases of Zima iced down for the Super
Bowl.
7. Checkmate!
6. She's too young to be wearing that bikini.
5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't
seen.
4. I don't have a favorite football team.
3. Youse Guys.
2. Those cutoffs ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN GUY SAY:

1. Nope, no more beer for me. I'm drivin' a whole busload of us down to help in the Hillary Campaign.

OldSchool · 07-02-2015, 12:35 PM

rick6375 · 07-20-2015, 01:01 PM

About a 1/3 apply to me, but the rest prove I'm a DAMN YANKEE through and through.

Acire37 · 07-29-2015, 12:14 AM

Pee'd myself!

Old Bear · 07-31-2015, 12:00 PM

You been listenin' in on my party line?

**smokier** · 08-02-2015, 08:44 AM

Quote:

You been listenin' in on my party line?

Yup, now that IS on the list of things ya'll hear a Southerner say.

Smokier

lar · 08-03-2015, 12:48 AM

Alan · 11-06-2015, 06:21 PM

Being from the north side of the Mason Dixon line we went to AR and the billboard out on the highway proclaimed: "Down here we're called Y'allstate Insurance." The waitress inside told the couple across from us what beers were on draft and ended with "Buh--Liiiii."

07-02-2015, 10:40 AM	#1
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	31 Things You Won't Hear A Southener Say 31. When I retire, I'm movin' north. 30. Oh I wouldn’t dare; she's only sixteen. 29. I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex. 28. Duct tape won't fix that. 27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken with a slice of lime. 26. We don't keep no guns in this house. 25. You can't feed that to the dog. 24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. 23. Wrestling is fake. 22. We're vegetarians. 21. Do you think my gut is too big? 20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits, grits, and gravy. 19. Honey, we don't need another dog. 18. Who gives a sh** who won the Civil War? 17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. 16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. 15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. 14. Trim the fat off that steak. 13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. 12. The tires on that truck are too damn big. 11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE. 10. Unsweetened tea tastes better. 9. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. 8. I've got two cases of Zima iced down for the Super Bowl. 7. Checkmate! 6. She's too young to be wearing that bikini. 5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. 4. I don't have a favorite football team. 3. Youse Guys. 2. Those cutoffs ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae. AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN GUY SAY: 1. Nope, no more beer for me. I'm drivin' a whole busload of us down to help in the Hillary Campaign. __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

07-02-2015, 12:35 PM	#2
OldSchool Sr. Member Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Ballwin,MO. Posts: 1,542	__________________

07-20-2015, 01:01 PM	#3
rick6375 Member Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: New Castle, In. Posts: 365	About a 1/3 apply to me, but the rest prove I'm a DAMN YANKEE through and through. __________________ 2005 800 Classic 2012 Voyager ABS

07-31-2015, 12:00 PM	#5
Old Bear Sr. Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Clarksville, TN Posts: 1,434	You been listenin' in on my party line? __________________ Jerry "Old Bear" Barker Clarksville, TN Americas Guardians PS MC President, Tennessee 16-A VBA #02203 "Blaze" 2017 Vaquero "Black Magic" 2011 Vaquero, 69k miles, handed down to my son for hopefully many more miles!

08-03-2015, 12:48 AM	#7
lar Sr. Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Concord, NH Posts: 1,407	__________________ Larry Martel 02 1500 Nomad VBA 01565 VROC4737 Patriot Guard Rider

07-29-2015, 12:14 AM	#4
Acire37 Jr. Member Join Date: Jul 2015 Posts: 23	Pee'd myself!

11-06-2015, 06:21 PM	#8
Alan Jr. Member Join Date: Oct 2015 Location: Hot Springs Nat. Park, AR. Posts: 16	Being from the north side of the Mason Dixon line we went to AR and the billboard out on the highway proclaimed: "Down here we're called Y'allstate Insurance." The waitress inside told the couple across from us what beers were on draft and ended with "Buh--Liiiii."