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Old 06-10-2008, 08:33 PM   #1
radco   radco is offline
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Parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Damn, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says,"I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy shi%," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guys asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"WOW," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak english can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a GREAT companion."

The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Psssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
"Oh No!" he exclaims. "Then what?"

"Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down......"

"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"DAMNED if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"




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Old 06-10-2008, 10:20 PM   #2
basco   basco is offline
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Old 06-11-2008, 09:52 AM   #3
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Naughty wife!
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Old 06-11-2008, 10:56 AM   #4
jussmatt   jussmatt is offline
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Silly Parrot...Tricks are for kids!! LOL!
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Old 06-11-2008, 02:26 PM   #5
dakals   dakals is offline
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!That was awesome!!!!!!
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Old 06-11-2008, 06:23 PM   #6
ringadingh   ringadingh is offline
 
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I never had days like that when I was a mailman, First day I got stung by a bee, then bitten by a dog. It wasn't all that glamourous. ::)
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Old 06-11-2008, 07:42 PM   #7
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I just gave our mailman 2 warm from the oven Peanut Butter Choc. Chip cookies today! He came just as they were cooling!
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Old 06-12-2008, 08:06 PM   #8
dakals   dakals is offline
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Lucky mailman!!!!!!
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