Irish Humor

**cnc** · 06-13-2015, 09:16 AM

Irish Humor
Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.

As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'

'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

Loafer · 06-13-2015, 09:27 AM

OMG! That one is priceless!!!

**HwyRider** · 06-13-2015, 09:45 AM

The Black Knight · 06-13-2015, 10:59 AM

OldSchool · 06-13-2015, 12:33 PM

06-13-2015, 09:16 AM	#1
cnc Join Date: May 2009 Location: Montreal QC Posts: 12,034	Irish Humor Irish Humor Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?' Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?' 'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror. __________________ Norm Ward 2008 blue / silver nomad kawanow / VBA #01136

06-13-2015, 09:27 AM	#2
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	OMG! That one is priceless!!! __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

06-13-2015, 09:45 AM	#3
HwyRider Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: South Shore, MA Posts: 4,629	__________________ VBA # 02424 VROC # 35971 2010 Nomad 1700 Metallic Diablo Black/Metallic Titanium

06-13-2015, 10:59 AM	#4
The Black Knight Top Contributor Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: Italy Posts: 6,449	__________________ VBA 02514 - VROC 35394 VN 800 A - VN 900 Classic VN 1700 Vaquero Usque ad finem.

06-13-2015, 12:33 PM	#5
OldSchool Sr. Member Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Ballwin,MO. Posts: 1,542	__________________