In Association with VBA Web : Memorial | Merchandise



Important Info : Please Read!
If this is your first visit to our new forum (est. 9.20.11) and you're already registered on the old forum, you'll have to request a new password in order to log in here. To do so, please Click Here and fill in the proper info. You must use the email address that you originally registered with on the old forum. You will then be emailed a new password (if you don't see it, please check your spam/junk folder). If you have any problems at all, please email us at mail@VulcanBagger.com. Thanks!



Go Back   Vulcan Bagger Forums > General > Off-Topic > Lighter Side/Jokes
Register FAQ Upgrade Membership Community Calendar Today's Posts Search
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 06-04-2008, 01:39 PM   #1
nomad1600   nomad1600 is offline
Advanced Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Pilot Mountain NC
Posts: 586
NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION
The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day...
'We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.'


ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.


ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.


ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.


ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet peeve...get an education and go to work....don't expect everyone else to take care of you!)


ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.


ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.


ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.


ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)


ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.


ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!


ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH! Go back to wherever you came from!


I just think it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you do not, who will?

  Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2008, 02:19 PM   #2
buckeye   buckeye is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: south central Ohio
Posts: 294
NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

Amen!!!
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2008, 04:53 PM   #3
basco   basco is offline
Sr. Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Taylor Tx
Posts: 1,831
NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

^+1
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2008, 05:35 PM   #4
dakals   dakals is offline
Sr. Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Beloit,WI
Posts: 4,256
NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

+2
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2008, 05:52 PM   #5
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

Very nice. I might want to add this one:

We are all born with the same basic rights, but if you wern't born with a surplus of good looks, brains, physical strength, or money, get over it.

If you were born with one leg 6" shorter than the other one, hey, we'd like to help. If you're depressed because your nose is too big and you can't afford plastic surgery or you're fat because you can't keep your face out of the refrigerator and you want free liposuction, don't expect a lot of public sympathy.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2008, 06:22 PM   #6
ringadingh   ringadingh is offline
 
ringadingh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada
Posts: 35,387
NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

+1
__________________

2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter
VBA #27
VROC #18951
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2008, 07:12 PM   #7
tn0399   tn0399 is offline
Jr. Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: West Tennessee
Posts: 13
Send a message via MSN to tn0399
NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

Amen to this This is AMERICA LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2008, 10:07 PM   #8
paul   paul is offline
Sr. Member
 
paul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: magnolia, tx
Posts: 1,500
NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

+1 and stand up when you say that!
__________________
The beatings will stop when morale improves.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2008, 02:36 PM   #9
jussmatt   jussmatt is offline
Sr. Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Richmond, TX.
Posts: 2,588
Send a message via Yahoo to jussmatt
NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION


Quote:
Originally Posted by tn0399
Amen to this This is AMERICA LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+111111110000000000000
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
QUIZ: How well do you know the US Constitution Off-Topic 7 07-10-2010 04:06 PM
Warning Label on Constitution??? NRiderUSA Off-Topic 3 06-13-2010 07:44 PM

In Association with VBA Web Join VBA Web Now!

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:51 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.