Al Kaida To Disband

Loafer · 12-29-2012, 08:24 AM

Al Qaeda to disband:

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The international terror group known as Al Qaeda announced its dissolution today, saying that “our mission of destroying the American economy is now in the capable hands of the U.S. Congress.”

In an official statement published on the group’s website, the current leader of Al Qaeda said that Congress’s conduct during the so-called “fiscal-cliff” showdown convinced the terrorists that they had been outdone.

“We’ve been working overtime trying to come up with ways to terrorize the American people and wreck their economy,” said the statement from Al Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri. “But even we couldn’t come up with something like this.”

Mr. al-Zawhiri said that the idea of holding the entire nation hostage with a clock ticking down to the end of the year “is completely insane and worthy of a Bond villain.”

“As terrorists, every now and then you have to step back and admire when someone else has beaten you at your own game,” he said. “This is one of those times.”

The Al Qaeda leader was fulsome in his praise for congressional leaders, saying, “We have made many scary videos in our time but none of them were as terrifying as Mitch McConnell.”

As for the future of Al Qaeda, the statement said that it would no longer be a terror network but would become “more of a social network,” offering reviews of new music, movies and video games.

In its first movie review, Al Qaeda gave the film “Zero Dark Thirty” two thumbs down.

pcarrell · 12-29-2012, 11:49 AM

Ya know, it's always funnier if it's sprinkled with a touch of truth!

Loafer · 12-29-2012, 01:48 PM

Yup, I just double checked and this is posted in the lighter side section.
No truth needed here, just a sense of humor.

**ringadingh** · 12-29-2012, 03:55 PM

I'm surprised nobody wants to put it in the political section...

NRiderUSA · 12-29-2012, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ringadingh

I'm surprised nobody wants to put it in the political section...

Shhhhhhhh, I'm sure it will offend someone eventually.

Loafer · 12-30-2012, 09:09 AM

Political Section? It's a joke.........

Jesse-James · 12-30-2012, 09:40 AM

Too much truth in there to be a joke.

**ringadingh** · 12-30-2012, 09:58 AM

I'm sure some will find it too political....

12-29-2012, 08:24 AM	#1
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	Al Kaida To Disband Al Qaeda to disband: WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The international terror group known as Al Qaeda announced its dissolution today, saying that “our mission of destroying the American economy is now in the capable hands of the U.S. Congress.” In an official statement published on the group’s website, the current leader of Al Qaeda said that Congress’s conduct during the so-called “fiscal-cliff” showdown convinced the terrorists that they had been outdone. “We’ve been working overtime trying to come up with ways to terrorize the American people and wreck their economy,” said the statement from Al Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri. “But even we couldn’t come up with something like this.” Mr. al-Zawhiri said that the idea of holding the entire nation hostage with a clock ticking down to the end of the year “is completely insane and worthy of a Bond villain.” “As terrorists, every now and then you have to step back and admire when someone else has beaten you at your own game,” he said. “This is one of those times.” The Al Qaeda leader was fulsome in his praise for congressional leaders, saying, “We have made many scary videos in our time but none of them were as terrifying as Mitch McConnell.” As for the future of Al Qaeda, the statement said that it would no longer be a terror network but would become “more of a social network,” offering reviews of new music, movies and video games. In its first movie review, Al Qaeda gave the film “Zero Dark Thirty” two thumbs down. __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

12-29-2012, 01:48 PM	#3
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	Yup, I just double checked and this is posted in the lighter side section. No truth needed here, just a sense of humor. __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

12-29-2012, 03:55 PM	#4
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	I'm surprised nobody wants to put it in the political section... __________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951

12-30-2012, 09:09 AM	#6
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	Political Section? It's a joke......... __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

12-30-2012, 09:40 AM	#7
Jesse-James Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Milwaukee Posts: 85	Too much truth in there to be a joke. __________________

12-29-2012, 11:49 AM	#2
pcarrell Member Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 229	Ya know, it's always funnier if it's sprinkled with a touch of truth!

12-30-2012, 09:58 AM	#8
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	I'm sure some will find it too political.... __________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951