What a nightmare!!

**wompus** · 01-30-2012, 02:28 PM

In my nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I'm circumcised!

Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo and it was that same color, black. I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair. But it's a wheelchair!

That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled! I said to myself, aloud, 'This is impossible! It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled!'

'It's the pure and holy truth', whispers someone from behind me.

I turn around, and it's my boyfriend. Just what I needed! I am a homosexual, and on top of that, with a Mexican boyfriend.

Oh, my God ... Black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive! Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and oh, nooooo ... I'm bald!

The telephone rings; it's my brother. He is saying, 'Since mom and dad died, the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and lay around all day doing nothing. Get a job, you worthless piece of crap ... any job!'

Mom? Dad? Nooooo ... Now I'm also an unemployed orphan! I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, and an orphan, but he doesn't get it.

Frustrated, I hang up. It's then I realize I only have one hand! With tears in my eyes, I go to the window to look out. I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere..

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker ... Pacemaker? Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood. At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, 'Sweetie pie, my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided what you are going to wear to Washington to see Obama?

Say it isn't so! I CAN handle being a black, disabled, one armed, drug-addicted, Jewish homosexual on a pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, living in a slum, with a Mexican boyfriend, but please, Oh dear God, please don't tell me I'm a Democrat too!

.

Loafer · 01-31-2012, 08:51 PM

Well could that mean that all democrats are all of the above?

**ringadingh** · 01-31-2012, 10:45 PM

Sounds like you need counseling....

**markclark57** · 01-31-2012, 11:40 PM

Almost sounds like you were visualizing your fantasies Mike.

AlabamaNomadRider · 02-01-2012, 04:43 AM

Still funny though.

**wompus** · 02-01-2012, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markclark57

Almost sounds like you were visualizing your fantasies Mike.

Bite my shinny metal ass!

.

stator · 02-01-2012, 02:03 PM

don't want to leave you headless.

01-30-2012, 02:28 PM	#1
wompus Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Gainesville, Ga. Posts: 1,950	What a nightmare!! In my nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I'm circumcised! Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo and it was that same color, black. I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair. But it's a wheelchair! That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled! I said to myself, aloud, 'This is impossible! It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled!' 'It's the pure and holy truth', whispers someone from behind me. I turn around, and it's my boyfriend. Just what I needed! I am a homosexual, and on top of that, with a Mexican boyfriend. Oh, my God ... Black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive! Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and oh, nooooo ... I'm bald! The telephone rings; it's my brother. He is saying, 'Since mom and dad died, the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and lay around all day doing nothing. Get a job, you worthless piece of crap ... any job!' Mom? Dad? Nooooo ... Now I'm also an unemployed orphan! I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, and an orphan, but he doesn't get it. Frustrated, I hang up. It's then I realize I only have one hand! With tears in my eyes, I go to the window to look out. I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere.. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker ... Pacemaker? Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood. At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, 'Sweetie pie, my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided what you are going to wear to Washington to see Obama? Say it isn't so! I CAN handle being a black, disabled, one armed, drug-addicted, Jewish homosexual on a pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, living in a slum, with a Mexican boyfriend, but please, Oh dear God, please don't tell me I'm a Democrat too! . __________________ Mike "WOMPUS' Nieznany 1999 Nomad "Fronkensteen" Viet Nam Vet 68-69-70 KawaNOW #00577 I'm sarcastic and have a smart ass attitude. It's a natural defense against DRAMA, BULLSHIT & STUPIDITY!!

01-31-2012, 08:51 PM	#2
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	Well could that mean that all democrats are all of the above? __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

01-31-2012, 10:45 PM	#3
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	Sounds like you need counseling.... __________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951

01-31-2012, 11:40 PM	#4
markclark57 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,108	Almost sounds like you were visualizing your fantasies Mike. __________________ 2006 Vulcan 1600 Classic "George III" (Patricia's) 2006 Vulcan 1600 Nomad "Grace" (Mark's) Mark Clark VBA #1619 TaibhseDaid@Gmail.Com "Irish" @ Maricopa County Chapter of B.A.C.A. Phoenix, AZ

02-01-2012, 04:43 AM	#5
AlabamaNomadRider Sr. Contributor Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Boaz, Alabama Posts: 13,742	Still funny though. __________________ Gene Cross, Jr. Boaz, Alabama KawaNOW/VBA #1181

02-01-2012, 02:03 PM	#7
stator Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: SC Posts: 154	don't want to leave you headless. __________________ Stator 2012 Nomad 1700