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09-01-2011, 06:52 AM | #1 |
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Newburgh IN
Posts: 3,404
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WalMart has Everything
Wal-Mart Has Everything
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind Him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor." So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart." That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and his own sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better! Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.
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VBA #01084
"A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." |
09-01-2011, 09:54 AM | #2 |
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 294
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WalMart has Everything
Thats a great joke lol
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Made ya Look |
09-01-2011, 02:27 PM | #3 |
Sr. Contributor
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WalMart has Everything
Dang sure funny.
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Gene Cross, Jr. Boaz, Alabama KawaNOW/VBA #1181 |
09-01-2011, 03:28 PM | #4 |
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada
Posts: 35,387
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WalMart has Everything
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2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951 |
09-01-2011, 05:43 PM | #5 |
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Greenwood, Ark.
Posts: 4,736
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WalMart has Everything
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09-01-2011, 07:05 PM | #6 |
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Mebane,nc
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WalMart has Everything
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who you learn from depends on who is willing to teach Life Is Brief & Time Is A Thief |
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