menopause

11-08-2007, 11:24 AM

How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman's Answer:

One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!!

I'm sorry. What was the question?

11-08-2007, 02:57 PM

Hilarious.

11-08-2007, 05:06 PM

I'll forward that to my mom, she'll get a kick out of that

**jmorrow** · 11-08-2007, 05:44 PM

I believe that actually happend according to Nico's response......

vulcanvixen · 11-09-2007, 11:08 AM

Why God Created Menopause
This is why God invented menopause.......

With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65 year-old woman gave birth to a baby. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.

"May we see the new baby?" one asked.

"Not yet," said the 65 year-old mother, "Soon."

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"

"Not yet," said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?"

"No," replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when CAN we see the baby?"

"WHEN IT CRIES," she told them.

"WHEN IT CRIES??" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until it CRIES??"

"BECAUSE, I forgot where I put it..."

11-09-2007, 11:14 AM

11-09-2007, 11:16 AM

LOL....too funny!!!

11-09-2007, 11:45 AM

Post Wh*re!

socwkbiker · 11-09-2007, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Post Wh*re!

Did you just call your wife a Wh*re??? Oh no, duck quick!!!

11-09-2007, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Post Wh*re!

Look who's calling the kettle black?????

2,184 VS 415....Excuuuuuuse ME!!!!

I think everyone here knows who the TRUE "post wh*re" is!!!

11-09-2007, 12:29 PM

11-09-2007, 12:32 PM

I ASKED YOU NOT TO POST THAT PIC!!!!!

vulcanvixen · 11-09-2007, 08:01 PM

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him.

3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

4. Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." And your reply, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie f**king Nelson.

5. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.

6. You change your underwear after every sneeze.

7. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales.

11-10-2007, 09:27 AM

</marquee>

vulcanvixen · 11-10-2007, 09:37 AM

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,
Here I am.......Stuck in the middle again!!!

11-08-2007, 11:24 AM	#1
Guest Posts: n/a	menopause How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb? Woman's Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!! I'm sorry. What was the question?

11-08-2007, 02:57 PM	#2
Guest Posts: n/a	menopause Hilarious.

11-08-2007, 05:06 PM	#3
Guest Posts: n/a	menopause I'll forward that to my mom, she'll get a kick out of that

11-08-2007, 05:44 PM	#4
jmorrow Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Beech Grove, Arkansas Posts: 1,884	menopause I believe that actually happend according to Nico's response...... __________________ Jim (Dooley) Morrow Stanford, Arkansas 2004 Kawasaki Nomad 1500 VBA #146

11-09-2007, 11:08 AM	#5
vulcanvixen Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: San Diego County, CA Posts: 350	menopause Why God Created Menopause This is why God invented menopause....... With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65 year-old woman gave birth to a baby. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit. "May we see the new baby?" one asked. "Not yet," said the 65 year-old mother, "Soon." Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?" "Not yet," said the mother. After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?" "No," replied the mother. Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when CAN we see the baby?" "WHEN IT CRIES," she told them. "WHEN IT CRIES??" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until it CRIES??" "BECAUSE, I forgot where I put it..."

11-09-2007, 11:14 AM	#6
Guest Posts: n/a	menopause <marquee> ::)</marquee>

11-09-2007, 11:16 AM	#7
Guest Posts: n/a	menopause LOL....too funny!!!

11-09-2007, 11:45 AM	#8
Guest Posts: n/a	menopause Post Wh*re!

11-09-2007, 12:29 PM	#11
Guest Posts: n/a	menopause <marquee> ;)</marquee> <marquee> :-/</marquee> <marquee> :'(</marquee>

11-09-2007, 12:32 PM	#12
Guest Posts: n/a	menopause I ASKED YOU NOT TO POST THAT PIC!!!!!

11-09-2007, 08:01 PM	#13
vulcanvixen Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: San Diego County, CA Posts: 350	menopause SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE 1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. 3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them. 4. Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." And your reply, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie f**king Nelson. 5. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. 6. You change your underwear after every sneeze. 7. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales.

11-10-2007, 09:27 AM	#14
Guest Posts: n/a	menopause <marquee></marquee>

11-10-2007, 09:37 AM	#15
vulcanvixen Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: San Diego County, CA Posts: 350	menopause Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, Here I am.......Stuck in the middle again!!!

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