In Association with VBA Web : Memorial | Merchandise



Important Info : Please Read!
If this is your first visit to our new forum (est. 9.20.11) and you're already registered on the old forum, you'll have to request a new password in order to log in here. To do so, please Click Here and fill in the proper info. You must use the email address that you originally registered with on the old forum. You will then be emailed a new password (if you don't see it, please check your spam/junk folder). If you have any problems at all, please email us at mail@VulcanBagger.com. Thanks!



Go Back   Vulcan Bagger Forums > General > Off-Topic > Lighter Side/Jokes
Register FAQ Upgrade Membership Community Calendar Today's Posts Search
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 10-18-2010, 11:05 AM   #1
moloprintz   moloprintz is offline
Advanced Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Knoxville, TN
Posts: 548
Hit Man

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.'

'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.



Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?'

'I'm a hit man,' was the reply.

'You're joking!' was the response.

'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. 'Here are my tools.'

'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.' So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.' 'Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom... Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her......He's naked, too!!!

He turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?'

'I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'

'Can you do two for me now?'

'Sure, what do you want?'

'First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.'

'Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.'

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

'Are you going to do it or not?' said the friend impatiently.

'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly,
.
.
.
'I think I can save you a grand here.....'
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2010, 12:03 PM   #2
ringadingh   ringadingh is offline
 
ringadingh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada
Posts: 35,387
Hit Man

LOL
__________________

2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter
VBA #27
VROC #18951
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2010, 06:49 PM   #3
Sin City Stan   Sin City Stan is offline
Sr. Member
 
Sin City Stan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Henderson, NV
Posts: 3,746
Hit Man

__________________

Oldest Saloon In Nevada
http://www.pioneersaloon.info/

"Sin City Stan"
Henderson, NV
VBA #01004
VROC #29365
2004 Nomad 1500L5 +100 "The Bike"
2009 Nomad 1700 (past)
2004 Vulcan Classic 800 (past)
2010 Cortez - 2011 Crescent City - 2012 Kanab - 2013 Estes Park
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2010, 07:03 PM   #4
BudMan   BudMan is offline
 
BudMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Greenwood, Ark.
Posts: 4,736
Hit Man

__________________


Dave Jesse
2012 1700 Gray/Black Voyager
2006 1600 Nomad Green/Silver Sold
VBA #1108

2010- Eureka Springs - Antlers - 2011- Maggie Valley - Antlers
2012- Margaritaville Ride - Van Buren - Antlers - 2013- Estes Park - Antlers
2014- Mountain View - Antlers - 2015- Eureka Springs - Antlers
2016- Salem - Antlers - 2017- Eureka Springs - Lake George - Antlers - 2018- Custer - Antlers
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2010, 08:42 PM   #5
Stump   Stump is offline
Sr. Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Scottown ohio
Posts: 1,225
Hit Man

__________________
Everyday is a holiday when you love your job, And if you don't you live in a nightmare.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2010, 10:06 PM   #6
AlabamaNomadRider   AlabamaNomadRider is offline
Sr. Contributor
 
AlabamaNomadRider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Boaz, Alabama
Posts: 13,742
Send a message via AIM to AlabamaNomadRider Send a message via Yahoo to AlabamaNomadRider
Hit Man

Good one. One shot does it all.
__________________

Gene Cross, Jr.
Boaz, Alabama
KawaNOW/VBA #1181
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
$hit List AlabamaNomadRider Lighter Side/Jokes 3 01-04-2011 01:34 PM
Then it hit me.... boomerang2120 Vulcan Nomad/Vaquero/Voyager 18 07-06-2010 09:33 AM
Hit what? flavor Vulcan Nomad/Vaquero/Voyager 38 08-05-2008 10:32 PM
Hit from behind mmartin Off-Topic 14 07-09-2008 11:15 PM
Motorcyle Hit waterman Off-Topic 10 06-12-2008 07:20 AM

In Association with VBA Web Join VBA Web Now!

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:03 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.