The Why's Of Men

Loafer · 06-08-2015, 10:26 AM

The Why's of Men - payback for the blonde jokes..........
(OK gentlemen; take it like a man!)

1 . WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
( because they are plugged into a genius)

2 . WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
( they don't have enough time)

3 . WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know......it never happened)
(C'mon we laugh at blonde jokes!)

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...
Then you are just an old sour fart!

One for the ladies.......

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, what setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .

And they say blondes are dumb...

*************************************

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'

*********************************************

It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

**************************************************

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

**************************************************

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough

****************************************

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'

blowndodge · 06-08-2015, 11:08 AM

Sounds like you've been strong armed into making a public apology for something you did Gerry!!!

Loafer · 06-08-2015, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blowndodge

Sounds like you've been strong armed into making a public apology for something you did Gerry!!!

I

'm not saying...

06-08-2015, 10:26 AM	#1
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	The Why's Of Men The Why's of Men - payback for the blonde jokes.......... (OK gentlemen; take it like a man!) 1 . WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? ( because they are plugged into a genius) 2 . WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? ( they don't have enough time) 3 . WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions) 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock) (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!) 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties) 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't know......it never happened) (C'mon we laugh at blonde jokes!) 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart... Then you are just an old sour fart! One for the ladies....... One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, what setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma . And they say blondes are dumb... *********************************** A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...' ***************************************** It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied. ********************************************** Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN ********************************************** Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough ************************************** Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.' __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

06-08-2015, 11:08 AM	#2
blowndodge Sr. Contributor Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Washington City, Utah Posts: 16,474	Sounds like you've been strong armed into making a public apology for something you did Gerry!!! __________________ I love my Victory Cross Country Tour 106. Smells like Victory! Ultra's are Limited There are two types of Harley riders. Those that trailer them and those that push them. The most Interesting Man in the World "Find the things in life you don't do well and don't do those things" Member # 0005