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Old 05-22-2011, 08:59 PM   #1
wompus   wompus is offline
 
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This one is a classic:
Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his
sobbing wife.
Tearfully, she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me
terribly this morning on the phone.
"Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the
druggist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist
told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it.

This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting
up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just
to realize that I locked the house with both house and car
keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.

Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later,
when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people
waiting for me to open up and the phone was already
ringing non-stop.

I got the store opened and started waiting on these people,
and all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."

He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against
the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled
all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick
up the nickels; the phone was still ringing and getting me
more than a bit annoyed.

When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer
which made me stagger back against a showcase with a
bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and
broke. You can imagine the stench of that mixed up perfume
overload!

Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally
got back to answer it.

It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal
thermometer.
And believe me Mister, as God is my witness,
all I did was tell her!"

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Mike "WOMPUS' Nieznany
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I'm sarcastic and have a smart ass attitude. It's a natural defense against DRAMA, BULLSHIT & STUPIDITY!!
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Old 05-22-2011, 09:14 PM   #2
AlabamaNomadRider   AlabamaNomadRider is offline
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Gene Cross, Jr.
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Old 05-22-2011, 09:19 PM   #3
Yellow Jacket   Yellow Jacket is offline
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Can't fault him for that!
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Bob
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Old 05-23-2011, 06:48 AM   #4
Loafer   Loafer is offline
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Old 05-23-2011, 06:52 AM   #5
ringadingh   ringadingh is offline
 
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Old 05-23-2011, 09:38 AM   #6
BudMan   BudMan is offline
 
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Dave Jesse
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Old 05-24-2011, 11:09 AM   #7
Stump   Stump is offline
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:54 AM   #8
jmorrow   jmorrow is offline
 
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I can hear him now.
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