In Association with VBA Web : Memorial | Merchandise



Important Info : Please Read!
If this is your first visit to our new forum (est. 9.20.11) and you're already registered on the old forum, you'll have to request a new password in order to log in here. To do so, please Click Here and fill in the proper info. You must use the email address that you originally registered with on the old forum. You will then be emailed a new password (if you don't see it, please check your spam/junk folder). If you have any problems at all, please email us at mail@VulcanBagger.com. Thanks!



Go Back   Vulcan Bagger Forums > General > Off-Topic > Lighter Side/Jokes
Register FAQ Upgrade Membership Community Calendar Today's Posts Search
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 10-13-2008, 11:50 AM   #1
fish   fish is offline
Top Contributor
 
fish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Aquashicola Pa.
Posts: 6,377
dog food



I'm having a boring life.

Yesterday I was at Wal*Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in the intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, 'No, I stepped off a curb to sniff a Golden Retriever's butt and a car hit us both.'

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Wal*Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

.




__________________
I'm not prejudice I hate everyone equally;)
08 nomad blue/silver
MaryJane
74,010miles
VBA #299
Her's 10 900LT 36,700

09 Bath NY.
10 Lake George NY.
11 National Maggie Valley NC.
12 Pa Wilds (Wellsboro) Pa.
14 Lincoln NH.
17 National Lake George NY.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2008, 01:30 PM   #2
ianicky   ianicky is offline
Sr. Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Somerset, England
Posts: 1,131
Send a message via MSN to ianicky
dog food

Lmao
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2008, 03:32 PM   #3
jmorrow   jmorrow is offline
 
jmorrow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Beech Grove, Arkansas
Posts: 1,884
dog food

I can believe it
__________________
Jim (Dooley) Morrow
Stanford, Arkansas
2004 Kawasaki Nomad 1500
VBA #146
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2008, 04:39 PM   #4
bear   bear is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: South Louisiana
Posts: 322
dog food

Is the dog OK??
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2008, 08:42 PM   #5
basco   basco is offline
Sr. Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Taylor Tx
Posts: 1,831
dog food

That reminds of the time I was working on my truck and had some gas in a coffee can to wash parts my dog drank all the gas before I could stop him he took off running around the yard for about five minutes and then just fell over ???
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2008, 04:34 AM   #6
fish   fish is offline
Top Contributor
 
fish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Aquashicola Pa.
Posts: 6,377
dog food

I guess he ran out of gas
__________________
I'm not prejudice I hate everyone equally;)
08 nomad blue/silver
MaryJane
74,010miles
VBA #299
Her's 10 900LT 36,700

09 Bath NY.
10 Lake George NY.
11 National Maggie Valley NC.
12 Pa Wilds (Wellsboro) Pa.
14 Lincoln NH.
17 National Lake George NY.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2008, 05:00 AM   #7
mmartin   mmartin is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Arkansas/Mississippi
Posts: 474
dog food

Sniffing around again, I think you were told about that
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2008, 11:59 AM   #8
basco   basco is offline
Sr. Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Taylor Tx
Posts: 1,831
dog food


Quote:
Originally Posted by fish
I guess he ran out of gas
Yeah
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2008, 07:31 PM   #9
dakals   dakals is offline
Sr. Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Beloit,WI
Posts: 4,256
dog food

LMAO!!!!!!
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2008, 11:12 PM   #10
ringadingh   ringadingh is offline
 
ringadingh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada
Posts: 35,387
dog food

LOL
__________________

2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter
VBA #27
VROC #18951
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
My dog. wompus Lighter Side/Jokes 4 07-22-2011 06:13 PM
Vegetarian Food Supply waterman Lighter Side/Jokes 5 01-22-2011 12:37 PM
Food cactusjack Off-Topic 15 12-02-2009 10:37 PM
Food Remedies oledawg Lighter Side/Jokes 3 06-16-2008 08:22 PM
Food network on KawaNow? kingbee Off-Topic 51 03-23-2008 06:18 PM

In Association with VBA Web Join VBA Web Now!

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:43 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.