Grandpa the Gambler vs. the IRS

**jmorrow** · 11-18-2008, 04:24 PM

> >
> > The IRS decides to audit grandpa, and summons him to the
> >the IRS office.
> > The IRS auditor was not suprised when grandpa showed up
> >with his attorney. The auditor said, "well, sir, you have
> >an extravagant lifestyle and no full time employment, this you
>> explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure >>the IRS finds that believable."
> >
> > "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,"
> > says grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"
> >
> > The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay,
> >go ahead."
> >
> > Grandpa replys, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars
> > that I can bite my own eye."
> >
> > The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a
> > bet!"
> >
> > Grandpa then removes his glass eye and bites it.
> >
> > The auditor's jaw drops.
> >
> > Grandpa says, "Now I'll bet you two thousand
> > dollars that I can bite
> > my other eye."
> >
> > Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he
> > takes the bet.
> >
>
> >Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
> >The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost >>three grand, with grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts >>to get nervous.
> >
> >"Want to go double or nothing?" grandpa
> >asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on >>one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the >>other side and never get a drop anywhere in between."
> >
> >The auditor twice burned is cautious now, but he looks
> >carefully and decides there is no way this old guy could >>possible manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
> >
> >Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants,
> >but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream >>reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he ends up >>urinating all over the auditor's desk.
> >
> >The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
> >turned a major loss into a huge win!
> >
> >But grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head
> >in his hands.
> >
> >"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
> >
> >"Not really," says the attorney. "This
> > morning when grandpa told me
> >he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me
> >twenty-five thousand
> >dollars that he could come in here and pee all over
<< your desk and that you'd be happy about it!"

fish · 11-18-2008, 04:59 PM

wise old man

rooster1 · 11-18-2008, 05:43 PM

paul · 11-18-2008, 06:52 PM

LMAO

**ringadingh** · 11-19-2008, 10:18 AM

LOL; that was good!

mmartin · 11-19-2008, 09:32 PM

LOL

11-18-2008, 04:24 PM	#1
jmorrow Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Beech Grove, Arkansas Posts: 1,884	Grandpa the Gambler vs. the IRS > > > > The IRS decides to audit grandpa, and summons him to the > >the IRS office. > > The IRS auditor was not suprised when grandpa showed up > >with his attorney. The auditor said, "well, sir, you have > >an extravagant lifestyle and no full time employment, this you >> explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure >>the IRS finds that believable." > > > > "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," > > says grandpa. "How about a demonstration?" > > > > The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay, > >go ahead." > > > > Grandpa replys, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars > > that I can bite my own eye." > > > > The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a > > bet!" > > > > Grandpa then removes his glass eye and bites it. > > > > The auditor's jaw drops. > > > > Grandpa says, "Now I'll bet you two thousand > > dollars that I can bite > > my other eye." > > > > Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he > > takes the bet. > > > > >Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. > >The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost >>three grand, with grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts >>to get nervous. > > > >"Want to go double or nothing?" grandpa > >asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on >>one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the >>other side and never get a drop anywhere in between." > > > >The auditor twice burned is cautious now, but he looks > >carefully and decides there is no way this old guy could >>possible manage that stunt, so he agrees again. > > > >Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, > >but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream >>reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he ends up >>urinating all over the auditor's desk. > > > >The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just > >turned a major loss into a huge win! > > > >But grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head > >in his hands. > > > >"Are you okay?" the auditor asks. > > > >"Not really," says the attorney. "This > > morning when grandpa told me > >he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me > >twenty-five thousand > >dollars that he could come in here and pee all over << your desk and that you'd be happy about it!" __________________ Jim (Dooley) Morrow Stanford, Arkansas 2004 Kawasaki Nomad 1500 VBA #146

11-18-2008, 04:59 PM	#2
fish Top Contributor Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Aquashicola Pa. Posts: 6,377	Grandpa the Gambler vs. the IRS wise old man __________________ I'm not prejudice I hate everyone equally;) 08 nomad blue/silver MaryJane 74,010miles VBA #299 Her's 10 900LT 36,700 09 Bath NY. 10 Lake George NY. 11 National Maggie Valley NC. 12 Pa Wilds (Wellsboro) Pa. 14 Lincoln NH. 17 National Lake George NY.

11-18-2008, 05:43 PM	#3
rooster1 Sr. Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Cheltenham , Penna. Posts: 1,091	Grandpa the Gambler vs. the IRS

11-18-2008, 06:52 PM	#4
paul Sr. Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: magnolia, tx Posts: 1,500	Grandpa the Gambler vs. the IRS LMAO __________________ The beatings will stop when morale improves.

11-19-2008, 10:18 AM	#5
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	Grandpa the Gambler vs. the IRS LOL; that was good! __________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951

11-19-2008, 09:32 PM	#6
mmartin Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Arkansas/Mississippi Posts: 474	Grandpa the Gambler vs. the IRS LOL

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