Bear Hunting

rooster1 · 08-23-2010, 11:48 AM

A hunter set out for the woods with his rifle, looking for bear. A couple of hours passed and he saw brown fur deep in the bushes.

He took careful aim and fired, there was a great commotion in the undergrowth and he hurried to the spot to see what he had shot.

He was amazed to find no trace of the animal and was still searching when a paw tapped him on the shoulder, he turned to find a big male bear, wearing a nasty expression.

He was amazed when the bear took his gun and snapped it in half.

He was even more amazed when the bear spoke "That was not a nice thing to do?" said the bear. Displaying a handful of very large sharp claws the bear said "I am going to have to kill you now, Unless!"

"Unless what?" the hunter said.

"Unless you step behind that bush remove your jeans and underwear, bend over and let me have my way with you" said the bear.

With no other option the hunter complied and following a very painful interlude walked - with difficulty - back to camp.

A few days later, armed with a bigger gun, he set out for the woods again.

Following a long hike through the trees he saw a bear in plain sight beside some bushes, took aim and shot it. The hunter ran to the place to see if it was the same bear. There was no bear to be seen. He was still searching the under growth when he felt a familiar tap on the shoulder.

It was the same bear, who took his gun and bent it into a circle. "What is it to be?" The bear asked. "Be torn to death or service me and, my four brothers?"

The hunter reached camp two days later, crawling on all fours. He took a week to heal and then, armed with the biggest gun he could find, the hunter set off determined to find revenge. Deep in the woods, once again, he saw a brown furry shape almost hidden by a tree. Taking careful aim he shot it.

When he reached the scene he saw there was no corpse. He stepped around the tree to check and found a long line of smiling bears.

At which time a familiar voice said: "You are not really here for the hunting, are you?"

Loafer · 08-23-2010, 04:42 PM

**ringadingh** · 08-23-2010, 05:59 PM

I usually come back from hunting with sore feet from all the walking, not a sore ass.

AlabamaNomadRider · 08-24-2010, 12:55 AM

Good one.

Stump · 08-24-2010, 05:15 PM

I don't want to hunt with that guy thats for sure

08-23-2010, 11:48 AM	#1
rooster1 Sr. Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Cheltenham , Penna. Posts: 1,091	Bear Hunting A hunter set out for the woods with his rifle, looking for bear. A couple of hours passed and he saw brown fur deep in the bushes. He took careful aim and fired, there was a great commotion in the undergrowth and he hurried to the spot to see what he had shot. He was amazed to find no trace of the animal and was still searching when a paw tapped him on the shoulder, he turned to find a big male bear, wearing a nasty expression. He was amazed when the bear took his gun and snapped it in half. He was even more amazed when the bear spoke "That was not a nice thing to do?" said the bear. Displaying a handful of very large sharp claws the bear said "I am going to have to kill you now, Unless!" "Unless what?" the hunter said. "Unless you step behind that bush remove your jeans and underwear, bend over and let me have my way with you" said the bear. With no other option the hunter complied and following a very painful interlude walked - with difficulty - back to camp. A few days later, armed with a bigger gun, he set out for the woods again. Following a long hike through the trees he saw a bear in plain sight beside some bushes, took aim and shot it. The hunter ran to the place to see if it was the same bear. There was no bear to be seen. He was still searching the under growth when he felt a familiar tap on the shoulder. It was the same bear, who took his gun and bent it into a circle. "What is it to be?" The bear asked. "Be torn to death or service me and, my four brothers?" The hunter reached camp two days later, crawling on all fours. He took a week to heal and then, armed with the biggest gun he could find, the hunter set off determined to find revenge. Deep in the woods, once again, he saw a brown furry shape almost hidden by a tree. Taking careful aim he shot it. When he reached the scene he saw there was no corpse. He stepped around the tree to check and found a long line of smiling bears. At which time a familiar voice said: "You are not really here for the hunting, are you?"

08-23-2010, 04:42 PM	#2
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	Bear Hunting __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

08-23-2010, 05:59 PM	#3
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	Bear Hunting I usually come back from hunting with sore feet from all the walking, not a sore ass. __________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951

08-24-2010, 12:55 AM	#4
AlabamaNomadRider Sr. Contributor Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Boaz, Alabama Posts: 13,742	Bear Hunting Good one. __________________ Gene Cross, Jr. Boaz, Alabama KawaNOW/VBA #1181

08-24-2010, 05:15 PM	#5
Stump Sr. Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Scottown ohio Posts: 1,225	Bear Hunting I don't want to hunt with that guy thats for sure __________________ Everyday is a holiday when you love your job, And if you don't you live in a nightmare.

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