Subject: Bible Salesman

[ridemslow]

If this doesn't make you laugh just go ahead and close your casket!!!


A preacher concluded that his church was getting into very serious
financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered
several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and
distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the
congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for
$10 each to raise the desperately-needed money for the church.

Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.

The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as
salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles. But he had
serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept
to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.

Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the
minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars
stacked with Bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the
results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister
immediately asked Jack, 'Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our
Bibles last week?'

Proudly handing the minister an envelope, Jack replied, 'Using my
sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles,20and here's the $200 I
collected on behalf of the church.'

'Fine job, Jack!' The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand.
'You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you.'

Turning to Paul, 'And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the
church last week?'

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, 'I
am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the
church, and here's $280 I collected.'

The minister responded, 'That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are
truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you.'

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, 'And
Louie, did you manage to sell any Bibles last week?' Louie silently
offered the minister a large envelope.

The minister opened it and counted the contents. 'What is this?'
the minister exclaimed. 'Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you
suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the church, door to door, in
just one week?'

Louie just nodded. That's impossible!' both Jack and Paul said in
unison. 'We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10
times as many Bibles as we could.'

'Yes, this does seem unlikely,' the minister agreed. 'I think
you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie.'

Louie shrugged. 'I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know
f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure,' he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. 'For crying out loud, Louie, just
tell us what you sai
d to them when they answered the door!'

'A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was,' Louis replied,
'W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy
th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible F-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks
---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to
st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??'

Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are!

[ringadingh]