The Texan

AlabamaNomadRider · 02-14-2011, 12:53 AM

A Texan went to Chicago, where he thought he would buy a new "city" outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and, when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, he answered, "Yes, ma'am. Ya see, I'm from Texas, and I want to buy a complete city outfit."

Her eyes lit up as she asked, "Where would you like to start?"
"Well, ma'am, how about a suit?"
"Yes, sir. What size?"
"Size 53 tall, ma'am."
"Wow, that's really big."
"Yes, ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."

"What's next?" she asked.
He replied, "How about some shoes?"
"What size?"
"Size 15 double D."
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes, ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."

"What's next?"
"Well, I reckon I'll need a shirt."
"Yes, sir. What size?"
"Nineteen and a half neck, size 38," he replied.
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes, ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."

"Will there be anything else?" she asked.
"Yes, ma'am. I spect I'll need a hat."
"Yes, sir. What size?"
"Eight and five-eighths."
"Wow, that's really big!"
"Yes, ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."

The woman virtually glowed as she asked, "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No, ma'am , I reckon that will be all."

As the sweet young thing tallied up his bill and as the Texan counted his money, she blushed and asked, "Sir, could I ask you a question?"

"Yes, ma'am, I already know what it is. And the answer is four inches."

Astonished, she blurted out, "Why, my boyfriend is bigger than that!"

Without so much as a stutter, the Texan replied, "From the floor, ma'am?"

**ringadingh** · 02-14-2011, 08:35 AM

tombstone · 02-14-2011, 12:08 PM

That's funny! It reminds me of the young man who helped a lil ole lady across the street. That night he awoke to see a fairy standing by his bed. She said, "For doing your good deed today I will grant you one wish." He thought, then said, "I want a wanger that touches the floor."

"Your wish shall be granted in the morning" she said.

The next morning he excitedly leaped out of bed to see if the wish had been granted, and sure enough...his legs were now 3 inches long.

Stump · 02-14-2011, 06:43 PM

02-14-2011, 12:53 AM	#1
AlabamaNomadRider Sr. Contributor Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Boaz, Alabama Posts: 13,742	The Texan A Texan went to Chicago, where he thought he would buy a new "city" outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and, when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, he answered, "Yes, ma'am. Ya see, I'm from Texas, and I want to buy a complete city outfit." Her eyes lit up as she asked, "Where would you like to start?" "Well, ma'am, how about a suit?" "Yes, sir. What size?" "Size 53 tall, ma'am." "Wow, that's really big." "Yes, ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas." "What's next?" she asked. He replied, "How about some shoes?" "What size?" "Size 15 double D." "Wow, that's really big!" "Yes, ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas." "What's next?" "Well, I reckon I'll need a shirt." "Yes, sir. What size?" "Nineteen and a half neck, size 38," he replied. "Wow, that's really big!" "Yes, ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas." "Will there be anything else?" she asked. "Yes, ma'am. I spect I'll need a hat." "Yes, sir. What size?" "Eight and five-eighths." "Wow, that's really big!" "Yes, ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas." The woman virtually glowed as she asked, "Is there anything else I can do for you?" "No, ma'am , I reckon that will be all." As the sweet young thing tallied up his bill and as the Texan counted his money, she blushed and asked, "Sir, could I ask you a question?" "Yes, ma'am, I already know what it is. And the answer is four inches." Astonished, she blurted out, "Why, my boyfriend is bigger than that!" Without so much as a stutter, the Texan replied, "From the floor, ma'am?" __________________ Gene Cross, Jr. Boaz, Alabama KawaNOW/VBA #1181

02-14-2011, 08:35 AM	#2
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	The Texan __________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951

02-14-2011, 12:08 PM	#3
tombstone Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Utah Posts: 437	The Texan That's funny! It reminds me of the young man who helped a lil ole lady across the street. That night he awoke to see a fairy standing by his bed. She said, "For doing your good deed today I will grant you one wish." He thought, then said, "I want a wanger that touches the floor." "Your wish shall be granted in the morning" she said. The next morning he excitedly leaped out of bed to see if the wish had been granted, and sure enough...his legs were now 3 inches long.

02-14-2011, 06:43 PM	#4
Stump Sr. Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Scottown ohio Posts: 1,225	The Texan __________________ Everyday is a holiday when you love your job, And if you don't you live in a nightmare.

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