And then the fight started

[trevwales]

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....
so, I took her to a gas station.....
And then the fight started....

************************************************** **********************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'

And then the fight started.....

************************************************** *********************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked,' Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started.....

************************************************** *********************

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out
of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started.....

Oh, you Brits......

[dakals]

Those were awesome!!!! LMAO!!!!

[ianicky]

Lmao i like the dwarf one best.

[ringadingh]

+1

[socwkbiker]

LMAO!!! Damn that's too funny!

[watchman]

Several years ago I was tending bar when a fellow came in, bought a round for the house and announced he wanted to make a toast. He stated " Here's to the American Eagle, what a noble bird is he, who eatith in Illinois and sh*ttith in Iowa."

The fellow sitting right beside him was obviously annoyed and jumped up and proceeded with his own toast. And he stated, " Here's to the State of Iowa, where the soil is fertile and rich. We need not the tird, of that Noble Bird, you RED HEADED Son of a B@#ch!"

And the fight was on!