My last trip to costco..

**wompus** · 12-09-2011, 11:34 AM

[B]Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Harley, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant?

Since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I was sitting in the road licking my balls when a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

And I have plenty of time on my hands...

**markclark57** · 12-09-2011, 11:48 AM

I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Thanks!

stator · 12-09-2011, 02:42 PM

why do dogs lick their balls.... 'cause they can.
all mammals should be able to do that. :)

AlabamaNomadRider · 12-09-2011, 03:14 PM

Funny stuff Mike.

**ringadingh** · 12-09-2011, 04:37 PM

I hope they at least refunded your membership!

dyetube · 12-09-2011, 04:52 PM

Damn that was funny!

bendusty · 12-10-2011, 12:15 PM

An oldie but goodie, I heard it as Walmart not Cosco but you can substitute any store.

12-09-2011, 11:34 AM	#1
wompus Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Gainesville, Ga. Posts: 1,950	My last trip to costco.. [B]Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Harley, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? Since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I was sitting in the road licking my balls when a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. And I have plenty of time on my hands... __________________ Mike "WOMPUS' Nieznany 1999 Nomad "Fronkensteen" Viet Nam Vet 68-69-70 KawaNOW #00577 I'm sarcastic and have a smart ass attitude. It's a natural defense against DRAMA, BULLSHIT & STUPIDITY!! Last edited by wompus; 12-09-2011 at 10:00 PM.

12-09-2011, 11:48 AM	#2
markclark57 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,108	I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Thanks! __________________ 2006 Vulcan 1600 Classic "George III" (Patricia's) 2006 Vulcan 1600 Nomad "Grace" (Mark's) Mark Clark VBA #1619 TaibhseDaid@Gmail.Com "Irish" @ Maricopa County Chapter of B.A.C.A. Phoenix, AZ

12-09-2011, 02:42 PM	#3
stator Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: SC Posts: 154	why do dogs lick their balls.... 'cause they can. all mammals should be able to do that. :) __________________ Stator 2012 Nomad 1700

12-09-2011, 04:37 PM	#5
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	I hope they at least refunded your membership! __________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951

12-09-2011, 04:52 PM	#6
dyetube Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 213	Damn that was funny! __________________ 2001 Kawasaki Vulcan Nomad 1500FI All stock Sena SMH10 Bluetooth

12-09-2011, 03:14 PM	#4
AlabamaNomadRider Sr. Contributor Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Boaz, Alabama Posts: 13,742	Funny stuff Mike.

12-10-2011, 12:15 PM	#7
bendusty Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Watkinsville, GA Posts: 186	An oldie but goodie, I heard it as Walmart not Cosco but you can substitute any store.