Parent's of Daughters

[jmorrow]

Here is a permission application for any boy's
to fill out that might be interested in dating
your daughter. You'll be surprised how honest
it'll keep the boy and it deters your daughter
from wanting to date at a young age if she thinks
the boy is going to have to fill out an application
to date her.....


APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a
complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your
doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________
WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________ SOCIAL SECURITY
#_________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES___________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No If No, explain:__________________________< BR>Number of years they have been married _______
If less than your age, explain __________________________________________________ __________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or
a belly button ring? __Yes __No
(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE
PREMISES
IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?_____________________ _________________
__________________________________________________ ______________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
___________________
__________________________________________________ ________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? _________________________________
__________________________________________________ _________________________________________


REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend _____________________ How often you attend
___________________________
When would be the best time to interview your: father? _____________mother?
_____________
pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all
answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:_________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the:______________________________________________ ________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about
is:_____________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? 1.___________________________2.___________________ _____
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first
is:____________________________
G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF
MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
X_________________________________________________ ________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
_______________________________ Mother's Signature
_______________________________ Father's Signature
_______________________________ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi
_______________________________ State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.

Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing
if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it
would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two
gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.(You might watch your back.)