$hit List

[AlabamaNomadRider]

Ghost $hit
You know you've $hit. There's $hit on the toilet paper, but no $hit in the bowl.

Teflon Coated $hit
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of $hit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey $hit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your a$$ 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This $hit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought $hit
You're all done wiping your a$$ and you're about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead $hit
This kind is the kind of $hit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly $hit
You $hit so much you lose 5 kilos.

Right Now $hit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker $hit
This $hit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of $hit usually happens at someone else's house.

Wet Cheeks $hit
This $hit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your a$$ wet.

Wish $hit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no $hit!

Cement Block or Oh God $hit
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you $hit.

Snake $hit
This $hit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork $hit (Also Known as Floater $hit)
Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This $hit usually happens at someone else's house.

Mexican Food $hit (also called Screamers)
You'll know it's alright to eat again when your a$$hole stops burning.

Beer Drunk $hit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your $hit doesn't smell too bad, but this $hit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of $hit also usually happens at someone else's house.

The Frightened Turtle
The kind of $hit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in

The Bungee $hit
The kind of $hit that just hangs off your a$$ before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire $hit
The kind of $hit where you eat really spicy food and your a$$hole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler
The kind of $hit where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber
The kind of $hit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The $hitty $hitty Bang Bang
The kind of $hit that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk $hit
The king of $hit that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

The Jack the Ripper $hit
The kind of $hit that yanks out the hair of your a$$ as it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper
The giant $hit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas $hit
The kind of $hit that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

Dirty Bowl $hit
The kind of $hit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City $hit
When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a $hit.

Oh $hit! $hit
You $hit so much and wipe your a$$ so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH $HIT!

The Never Ending $hit
It's the $hit that keeps running out of your a$$ like pea, and just when you start wiping your a$$ your stomach gurgles and splash, more $hit runs out. This always happens after eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Ouch That Hurt $hit
The type of $hit that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours.