The SOUTH Declairs war on the USA (again)

[wompus]

{ ONLY in the SOUTH ??? }

President barack obama was in
the Oval Office smoking with his cronies when his red telephone rang.

"Hello, President obama? " a heavily accented with a southern drawl voice said. "This is Herschel, down here at Joe's Crab Shack, here at Macon, Georgia, and I am callin' to tell ya that we are so frustrated with YOUR policies and administration, that we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well, Herschel," barack replied,
"This is indeed startling & important news!
How big is your army ?"

"Right now," said Herschel, after a moments calculation, "there's myself, my cousin Joe Bob, my next-door-neighbor Bubba, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!"

Barack paused and said with a puff, "I must tell you Herschel that I have one million men in my army waiting to move
on my command."

"Wow,"
said Herschel. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Herschel called again. " Mr. obama, the war is STILL on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Herschel?" barack asked.

"Well suh, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Uncle Jimmy Joe's
John Deere 4 wheel drive tractor."

President obama sighed and said, "I must tell you Herschel, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000
armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Herschel, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Herschel rang again the next day and declared, "President obama! The war is STILL on!

We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Hank's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"

"Mr O" was silent for a minute
then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Herschel that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes.

My military complex is surrounded
by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Oh Lord," said Herschel, "l'll have at call ya back."

Sure enough, Herschel called again the next day. " President obama! I am sorry to have to tell ya that we HAD to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Herschel, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few more beers, and come to realize that there's just NO way we can feed two
million prisoners."

SOUTHEREN
CONFIDENCE CANNOT
BE SHAKEN !