offensive (of course) but dang funny

[wompus]

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks What is wrong??
The boy says Me ma is dead.
Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call
Father O' Riley for you?
The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on me mind at the moment.
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Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away..But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!
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Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immensley fast shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.
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I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself I'm going to take that.
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Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland . He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks up and shouts back. "You're in that feckin basket.."


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