Putting out

sarge1057 · 04-10-2009, 06:43 AM

When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy...it's pretty smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

**trip** · 04-10-2009, 07:00 AM

**ringadingh** · 04-10-2009, 08:13 AM

Its nice to get even.

**jmorrow** · 04-10-2009, 08:55 AM

Sounds like he may be having sex by himself for a while. ::)

fish · 04-10-2009, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Dooley

Sounds like he may be having sex by himself for a while. ::)

Hell! I hope he's ambidextrous

ridemslow · 04-10-2009, 10:53 PM

Payback is a MOther F****R ::)

strobe · 04-11-2009, 12:11 AM

**Cajunrider** · 04-11-2009, 09:54 AM

Him...

:(" title="

" border="0"/>Her

socwkbiker · 04-12-2009, 09:49 PM

billz410 · 04-13-2009, 10:23 AM

Now that's a good one!!

04-10-2009, 06:43 AM	#1
sarge1057 Sr. Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: ,,,,,,,,,,,, Posts: 1,426	Putting out When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy...it's pretty smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!' So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.' I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?' I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?' Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

04-10-2009, 07:00 AM	#2
trip VBA Founder Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Lindale, Texas Posts: 6,846	Putting out __________________ Robert "Trip" Hilliard VBA/KawaNOW - Founder/Past President VBA # 00001 Trip's Website Custer 09, 18 / Maggie Valley 11 / Eureka Springs 09, 17 / Antlers 09, 10, 11, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18 Texas Hill Country / Deals Gap / Colorado / Wyoming / Montana / Utah / More trips for Trip

04-10-2009, 08:13 AM	#3
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	Putting out Its nice to get even. __________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951

04-10-2009, 08:55 AM	#4
jmorrow Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Beech Grove, Arkansas Posts: 1,884	Putting out Sounds like he may be having sex by himself for a while. ::) __________________ Jim (Dooley) Morrow Stanford, Arkansas 2004 Kawasaki Nomad 1500 VBA #146

04-10-2009, 10:53 PM	#6
ridemslow Sr. Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Chesapeake, Ohio Posts: 1,537	Putting out Payback is a MOther F****R ::) __________________

04-11-2009, 12:11 AM	#7
strobe Sr. Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 1,200	Putting out __________________ Cory 2013 Honda GL1800 Goldwing 2008 Kawasaki KLR 650 (for sale) 2007 Honda ST1300 (sold) 2005 Kawasaki Nomad (sold) 2004 Suzuki Hayabusa (sold) http://www.strobel.ws VBA #01021 VROC #29389

04-11-2009, 09:54 AM	#8
Cajunrider Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: (SE Louisiana) Posts: 8,340	Putting out Him... :(" title="" border="0"/>Her __________________ 2016 Electra Glide Ultra Limited CVO Palladium Silver / Phantom Blue 110 cu in SE 2012 Electra Glide Ultra Limited (Traded 6/22/16) Tequila Sunrise / HD Orange Vance & Hines true dual headers Rinehart 4" slip ons Screamin Eagle Super Tuner Screamin Eagle Stage 1 intake Dyno tuned H.O.G.# 4514015 2007 Nomad 1600 (Traded 6/23/12) VBA #482

04-12-2009, 09:49 PM	#9
socwkbiker Top Contributor Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Jefferson City, MO Posts: 6,272	Putting out __________________ Jeff Platz VBA #0002 VBA VP-Global B.A.C.A. Hoss 2005 "StrongBear" Black/Silver Todd and BD

04-13-2009, 10:23 AM	#10
billz410 Advanced Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Dodgeville, WI COLD!!! Posts: 550	Putting out Now that's a good one!!

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