Grandpa the Gambler vs. the IRS

[jmorrow]

> >
> > The IRS decides to audit grandpa, and summons him to the
> >the IRS office.
> > The IRS auditor was not suprised when grandpa showed up
> >with his attorney. The auditor said, "well, sir, you have
> >an extravagant lifestyle and no full time employment, this you
>> explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure >>the IRS finds that believable."
> >
> > "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,"
> > says grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"
> >
> > The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay,
> >go ahead."
> >
> > Grandpa replys, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars
> > that I can bite my own eye."
> >
> > The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a
> > bet!"
> >
> > Grandpa then removes his glass eye and bites it.
> >
> > The auditor's jaw drops.
> >
> > Grandpa says, "Now I'll bet you two thousand
> > dollars that I can bite
> > my other eye."
> >
> > Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he
> > takes the bet.
> >
>
> >Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
> >The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost >>three grand, with grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts >>to get nervous.
> >
> >"Want to go double or nothing?" grandpa
> >asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on >>one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the >>other side and never get a drop anywhere in between."
> >
> >The auditor twice burned is cautious now, but he looks
> >carefully and decides there is no way this old guy could >>possible manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
> >
> >Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants,
> >but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream >>reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he ends up >>urinating all over the auditor's desk.
> >
> >The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
> >turned a major loss into a huge win!
> >
> >But grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head
> >in his hands.
> >
> >"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
> >
> >"Not really," says the attorney. "This
> > morning when grandpa told me
> >he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me
> >twenty-five thousand
> >dollars that he could come in here and pee all over
<< your desk and that you'd be happy about it!"