A long ordeal ends not so good...

[xncrman]

I think I feel as bad as anyone could get without being told they have a month to live.. :-/ For those out there that are very attached to their grandchildren you might know what I mean. Long story but when my son was sent to Kuwait in support of the war in Iraq 3 years ago, his wife had another man move in with her and my grandsons after 3 1/2 months. She did her best to try and replace their real dad with another. It was about 4 months that I stalled a webcam so they could talk to daddy when at my house.

Again due to a very long story, I and my grandsons are attached to each other can be. I devote my life to them to be their rock in stormy times and they give it back 100 fold.

It's been over a year and half battling for my son to get 50/50 custody and after a revue set by the female judge after granting him his 50/50 custody back last December, we found out today she reversed herself and it's every other weekend. I came from a broken home and strongly advocate the need in this world for children to be able to grow with both of their real parents. Especially without turmoil but that's not the world we live in.

I have spent thousands of dollars and walked away from my home 2 hours away to move closer to my grandsons. To be able to go to their ball games, etc. And when they are only 6 and 7 years of age having a safe zone where neither mom nor dad could interfere and no ill words were spoken, I thought was very important.

Well, sorry for boring anyone. No where else to go and say what a sad day this is today. I don't get to have any more grandpa time with my boys in the workshop making special project during dads week. And I know my ex-daughter in-law. So now I have to wait till next summer to spend quality time.

Life SUCKS! :-/

[BudMan]

I am very sorry to hear of this. I have two grandsons about that age and would be heartbroken if I found myself in your situation.
Unfortunately sometimes life does suck.
As grandparents we find ourselves in the unenviable position of having our lives turned upside down by the decisions of our children and those who they have chosen to marry. Just keep in mind that you'll always be granddad and that they love you.

[Cajunrider]

Sorry John.....when my second son and his wife divorced 8 years ago it devastated my wife and myself. I was accustomed to having the boys around every day and all at once I could only see them every other weekend. It's tough but it will get better. My ex daughter in law is very good and has let the boys stay for the entire summer. They are only 25 miles away so it wasn't a total loss. Prayers for strength and encouragement to all of you. Take care.

[ringadingh]

Sorry to hear the outcome John, sometimes things just don't seem fair. Hopefully it will get better in time and things will seem a little more normal.

[AlabamaNomadRider]

John that is just terrible. I really hate it for you. There is really nothing words can say to make you feel better. Will keep you and your son and grandchildren in my thoughts and prayers. Take care and keep putting one foot after the other. Hopefully things will get better for you.

[Loafer]

Keep a good attitude, always let them feel safe and love as much as can be done. It will all work its way to a better place. Wishing all of you the best.

[Netnorske]

John,
I feel your pain. Life does suck sometimes, but keep your head up and I hope that things work out for everyone invloved.

[brote]

John,
I know that this is of little consolation but I went through something similar in a divorce some 16 years ago. Ex-wife left the state even though the guardian ad litem warned the judge against do this. This didn't mean a thing to the judge. Long story short I have seen my son for over ten years. Courts don't help Dad's ........ (just my opinion). I hope you do get to play an active part in your grandsons lives because it will be positive for them also. Life Sucks but it does go on. Your in my prayers.

[chainsaw]

John, prayers are with you and your family. Phil: 4-13. That Bible verse helps me to remember. Look it up.

[Kawhead]

I'm glad you shared your story with us John. This is a good place to share your thoughts, other than ride therapy, which really works, people here have years of life experiences and great advice. I sincerely hope things work out better for you. Your daughter in-law is still young and subject to change her mind to see the positive aspects a good grandparent has on kids lives.

Boy times are different now. Back in the day, had I found myself in a situation like that, both of my grandparents and a couple of my uncles would have went over there and made the new guy an offer he couldn't refuse and straiten everything out as if it never happened. Now you could go to jail for it.

Thank God for grandparents. I look forward to the day when I'm one, and I hope I'm half the grandpa mine was to me. :) Take it easy John. :)

[cactusjack]

That's too bad, I'm really sorry to hear this. We don't have any grandkids yet, but I hope we never have to face something like this. You never know, though.

[glwilson]

My thoughts are with both of you on this subject. I went through a similar situation with my own kids. Things did finally work out, and are just fine now -- but I still missed a lot of "life" in the meantime.

I have a client that is going through a very similar situation as you with her son's "ex". They are great people, doing what is best for the kids (like you), but have been isolated from them legally. Sometimes it just simply seems like our court system is really messed-up; especially when it comes to divorces and child custody issues.

I am only telling you this in an effort to let you know you are not alone in this situation. Many have unfortunately had to endure similar circumstances.

That fact does not make it any "better" for you... but hopefully will let you know that it isn't "you" or necessarily anything you have done. You are simply the victim (as are the grandkids) of a ruthless, heartless person -- and a deparately poor court-system.

While I am not necessarily the most religious person you'll ever meet -- I still believe there are "powers that be" that will amend these wrongs someday in someway.

My best wishes to you and the misses. Sincerely.

[poppy]

This is sad news indeed. You really have to wonder what is wrong with the system. Perhaps writing a sincere letter to both the judge and the child's mother expressing your disappointment with the decision...not second guessing it though. Let them know your strong intent to be a vital part of the child's life, without a prejudiced view on either parent, no drama. Express what's important to you, as a grandparent.

Have you checked possible legal paths you can take for yourself? Might be worth looking into that too! Anyway, hang in there and continue to be the rock....

[xncrman]

Thanks to everyone and your empathy. Your support and comments are very important to me. It is really nice to know that other people feel as strongly about children as we do. They ARE the only innocence in this world. Thanks again. We're going to let things settle for a few weeks and try establish communications again.

[flavor]

No grandchildren yet. I'd be repeating if I said any more than others said before. The best to you.