Texas Motorcycling Myth Busted

[dank]

For the past nine months I have marveled wonders the Texas group tell of riding in Texas, especially during our northern winter..… proclaiming Texas to be a virtual Nomad Nirvana. A place where the culture is motorcycle friendly and swarms of Nomads sweep about the country side reveling in the constant sun and warmth, with absolutely righteous speed limits and where every crossroad has a roadhouse brimming with beer and biking comrades. A magical place where even the deer politely jump over your bike instead of standing in front of it and getting hit like they do up north.

So off I went. I headed for Texas. As I approached the border this morning on Interstate 30 my excitement was palpable in spite of the rain. I had passed Noah and his ark twice on the interstate on my way from Little Rock to Texarkana. (Apparently he floated by and got ahead again while I ate breakfast.) But that would soon be forgotten. Nothing but sunshine ahead….TEXAS. One more mile. I started accelerating. What would the speed limit be in this last bastion of personal freedom? They had mentioned 75 and 80. Maybe “Let your conscience be your guide” or “You know your bike better than we do: go whatever you think is safe.” I shot across the line. I thought about stopping to kiss the ground, but I would have had to stick my nose under water to do so. I resisted the urge. But never mind the rain. I knew it had to just be a maverick storm that had strayed across the border from Arkansas. Trip and the boys would undoubtedly shoo it back home in no time at all. Then I saw the sign. The speed limit was…..60 mph. 60! What the heck! Sheesh, the Canucks let you go faster than that. Have to convert it from metric, but even they let you go 66. I released the throttle and hydroplaned down to 60.

The rain increased. I tried to ignore it. After all, this was Texas! Nomad Nirvana. And I realized I was in town, and expected that even the Texans have to have some rules and limits in such settings. I waited to accelerate until I got out of town. I saw the sign, grabbed the throttle, and the new speed limit was…70. Now wasn’t that special! But the next sign really caught my attention: Loose gravel next 22 miles. For the northerners I must point out that you should not be marveling that in Texas they let you go 70 on rural gravel lanes, which is the only place you would find such a road up north. Nope, this was the fabled Texas interstate with a gravel surface and rain coming down so hard I couldn’t see the other lanes. It was like something Dan Lund would dream up: “I wonder if I could ride a Nomad down a rocky river bed at 70 mph?” (Dan, in case you are wondering, yes, you can.)

And where were all the bikes? I did not see a one. Not one. To be fair, I should say none passed me heading into Texas. There may have been, and likely were a bunch heading the other way. The visibility was so poor I wouldn’t have seen them. But I made it to Dallas, will be off to San Antonio tomorrow, then up to Albuquerque. I just hope my engine doesn’t get flooded before I get out of the state, after all, the air intake is only about 2 ft off the ground.

I present this summary for TC, Dakals, and others up north. Now you know the truth. The myth of Texas as a Nomad Nirvana is busted: an internet hoax. So next winter when your bike is safely stored in the garage and the Texans start in again with all the blarney about their rides, just chuckle, toss another log on the fire, and thank your luck stars you aren’t in TEXAS.

Dank ;)

(I fear the perceived heresy due to the plural in my last sentence my cause apoplexy among the Texans in the group, so let me explain. Contrary to the populist point of view in Texas, we northerners hold that there is a credible body of evidence that points to there being more than one star.)

The problem is that you showed up during the only Texas-sized rain storm of the last 10 years. Everybody put their bikes away that day, because they weren't entirely sure their bikes wouldn't melt, having never been ridden in the rain before.

[jarhead]

Hmmm no other motorcycles on the road huh? Road covered in water huh? Well, Most Texans have enough sense not to ride a horse in the rain dufus....uh I mean dank, sir.

[dank]

Originally Posted by jarhead

Hmmm no other motorcycles on the road huh? Road covered in water huh? Well, Most Texans have enough sense not to ride a horse in the rain dufus....uh I mean dank, sir.

Or we just breed them hardier up north!

Dank

[mikesth]

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to pull off that dissappearing act every time someone from Michigan shows up?

We want to keep it all to ourselves :)

Darn....gave it away.... :-[

[hollywood]

You ain't fer enuff south....... 101 deg. bright sun here

if you don't like the weather in TX - wait an hour or drive 1 more hour

[scott2007nomad]

Originally Posted by mikesth

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to pull off that dissappearing act every time someone from Michigan shows up?

We want to keep it all to ourselves :)

Darn....gave it away.... :-[

+1
Took the words right out of my mouth!

[dantama]

Originally Posted by dank

For the northerners I must point out that you should not be marveling that in Texas they let you go 70 on rural gravel lanes, which is the only place you would find such a road up north. Nope, this was the fabled Texas interstate with a gravel surface and rain coming down so hard I couldn’t see the other lanes. It was like something Dan Lund would dream up: “I wonder if I could ride a Nomad down a rocky river bed at 70 mph?” (Dan, in case you are wondering, yes, you can.)

Good info to know, thanks :)

If you are coming through Colorado, let me know if you have time to meet up.

[Yellow Jacket]

Dank, that is a great story. Do you write for a motorcycle mag? If not, you might think about it. That's better than some of the stories I have read in some of the mags.

PS. Texas has a state of the art warning system that alerts them to incoming northern riders. They order heavy rain and keep all Texan motorcycles off the road until the threat has left. :)

[socwkbiker]

The next time you come down this way, give me a call and we can go for a ride to one of those "special" Southern places.

Mike, get the rednecks ready so we can give a special parade!

[lw]

Originally Posted by Yellow Jacket

PS. Texas has a state of the art warning system that alerts them to incoming northern riders. They order heavy rain and keep all Texan motorcycles off the road until the threat has left. :)

Shoot yeah we have a great warning system, I'm in a Holiday Inn in Beaumont this week and still got my Michigander warning. You didnt think those digital signs along the highway were only there for Traffic notices and Amber Alerts did ya?

[Top Cat]

We are not believing any of this cover story of a warning system are we dank. Thanks to your spirit of adventure we now now it is all a hoax. I will take comfort in your findings this winter when the Texas size lies start appearing on this forum. Thanks for your dedication and they are right about one thing, only a northerner can handle the foul weather. They admitted to being fair weather riders.

[jarhead]

I saw an interesting bumper sticker a while back and I thought I might share. The bumper sticker read, "Help Clean up Texas, Put a Yankee on a Bus". Probably from the same people that developed the Yankee Early Warning System. Too bad they did not have it 150 years ago.....But even way back then Texans knew better than to ride their horses in the rain. There are some things you just kain't teach a yankee.

[soldierboy3502]

Dank, let me know when your coming up to ABQ. Are you riding by El Paso? Aspen Cash in Ruidoso, NM is this weekend. If you come up this way, give me a yell 931-980-9315...yes its a TN number and no I'm not white....I'm Mexican but I promise not to steal ur tires.;p

[jussmatt]

Originally Posted by hollywood

You ain't fer enuff south....... 101 deg. bright sun here

if you don't like the weather in TX - wait an hour or drive 1 more hour

Like Hollywood said.... What you "Yankee's" seem to forget is the SIZE of Texas. Being from Texas, I marveled up north that you could drive for 3 hours and go through a half dozen states. In Texas... you can drive in a straight line for 3 days and NEVER leave the state!!! LOL!!! But...like the saying goes..."Everything is BIGGER in Texas!!"....even the rain storms! What you thought was a monsoon, was just a little trickle for most of us!! LOL!

Just keep driving dank.... you'll be wishing for some water soon enough if you're headed to NM!!