Brave Man Jokes

Netnorske · 04-01-2011, 06:09 PM

Extremely politically incorrect...VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES....

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?

Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

Put a nipple on it.

Why do women fake orgasms ?

Because they think men care.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?

Made her chain too long

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Why do men pass gas more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%...

It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

**ringadingh** · 04-01-2011, 06:37 PM

Those sound like great topics for a Dr. Oz show.

Loafer · 04-01-2011, 06:59 PM

I'm not that brave...

**ringadingh** · 04-01-2011, 08:24 PM

I'll try a few of those on my wife, If Im not around for a while youll know she doesn't have a good a sense of humour as I do.

AlabamaNomadRider · 04-01-2011, 08:32 PM

Those were really funny Kris.

deadant · 04-01-2011, 09:23 PM

one more -

Why are wedding dresses white? So they match the rest of the appliances in the kitchen.

paul · 04-01-2011, 09:40 PM

It's a brave man who types in the closet.

Loafer · 04-02-2011, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hmsregalnadness

It's a brave man who types in the closet.

Closet surfer!

04-01-2011, 06:09 PM	#1
Netnorske Top Contributor Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Everett, Washington Posts: 5,709	Brave Man Jokes Extremely politically incorrect...VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES.... How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... It's called a Wedding Cake. Why do men die before their wives? They want to. __________________ *Kris Olsen* VBA #0691 2017 HD Ultra Limited Low 2013 Victory Cross Country Tour 2012 1700 Vulcan Voyager 2008 1600 Vulcan Nomad 1997 Vulcan 800 Classic *"Growing old is mandatory,* *but growing up is optional"* Custer 2009\|Kalispell 2010\|Cortez 2010\|Crescent City 2011\|Kanab 2012\|Canmore 2012\|Estes Park 2013\|Orofino 2014\|Lake Tahoe 2015\|Red Lodge 2016 Login or Register to Remove Ads
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04-01-2011, 06:37 PM	#2
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	Brave Man Jokes Those sound like great topics for a Dr. Oz show. __________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951
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04-01-2011, 06:59 PM	#3
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	Brave Man Jokes I'm not that brave... __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]
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04-01-2011, 08:24 PM	#4
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	Brave Man Jokes I'll try a few of those on my wife, If Im not around for a while youll know she doesn't have a good a sense of humour as I do. __________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951
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04-01-2011, 08:32 PM	#5
AlabamaNomadRider Sr. Contributor Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Boaz, Alabama Posts: 13,742	Brave Man Jokes Those were really funny Kris. __________________ Gene Cross, Jr. Boaz, Alabama KawaNOW/VBA #1181 Login or Register to Remove Ads
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04-01-2011, 09:23 PM	#6
deadant Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Dickinson, ND Posts: 341	Brave Man Jokes one more - Why are wedding dresses white? So they match the rest of the appliances in the kitchen.
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04-01-2011, 09:40 PM	#7
paul Sr. Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: magnolia, tx Posts: 1,500	Brave Man Jokes It's a brave man who types in the closet. __________________ The beatings will stop when morale improves.
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