For the Ladies

08-23-2007, 10:23 PM

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...
-------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
-------------------------------------------------------

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he steps out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
----------------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor.
-------------------------------------------------------

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day, a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good, each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the
World with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.

Whoosh! Immediately he turned 90.

Gotta love that fairy!
-------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,

I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death

AMEN
-------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.
-------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.
-------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
-------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
-------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

08-23-2007, 10:33 PM

I'm offended.

08-23-2007, 10:40 PM

Quite frankly, I didn't get any of them ???. I was told they were funny though. Sorry.

blowndodge · 08-23-2007, 11:52 PM

I know some men that would take offense to this...........

vulcanvixen · 08-24-2007, 01:06 AM

LMAO

socwkbiker · 08-24-2007, 08:16 AM

Why is it VV finds this stuff so funny?

???

08-24-2007, 08:20 AM

She must be a man hater!! ;)

Disclaimer: No offense intended to any man haters out there.

<marquee>SMITE ME MY CHILDREN!!!!</marquee>

**trip** · 08-24-2007, 08:30 AM

Man hater...........I work with several of them.

No offense to the working man haters out there.

socwkbiker · 08-24-2007, 08:54 AM

But without us, who would kill bugs? BD's face can only be in so many places at once.

No offense to any bugs who may or may not have been killed.

08-24-2007, 09:08 AM

</marquee>

vulcanvixen · 08-24-2007, 11:56 AM

SWB.....You're ok dude.....love your comments!! lol

BTW....love men, just gotta laugh at the obvious! Takes two to tango, after all..........

10-27-2007, 11:08 AM

Quote:

SWB.....You're ok dude.....love your comments!! lol

BTW....love men, just gotta laugh at the obvious! Takes two to tango, after all..........

Who is this????

socwkbiker · 10-27-2007, 11:42 AM

Who is this who asked who is this?? ???

Quote:

[quote:0riot5cg]SWB.....You're ok dude.....love your comments!! lol

BTW....love men, just gotta laugh at the obvious! Takes two to tango, after all..........

Who is this????[/quote:0riot5cg]

10-27-2007, 12:58 PM

</marquee>

socwkbiker · 10-27-2007, 01:02 PM

Talking out your ass again?

08-23-2007, 10:23 PM	#1
Guest Posts: n/a	For the Ladies One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb... ------------------------------------------------------- A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." ------------------------------------------------------- "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he steps out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. ---------------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor. ------------------------------------------------------- A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day, a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good, each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the World with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger. Whoosh! Immediately he turned 90. Gotta love that fairy! ------------------------------------------------------- Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death AMEN ------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. ------------------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. ------------------------------------------------------- Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. ------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. ------------------------------------------------------- Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

08-23-2007, 10:33 PM	#2
Guest Posts: n/a	For the Ladies I'm offended.

08-23-2007, 10:40 PM	#3
Guest Posts: n/a	For the Ladies Quite frankly, I didn't get any of them ???. I was told they were funny though. Sorry.

08-23-2007, 11:52 PM	#4
blowndodge Sr. Contributor Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Washington City, Utah Posts: 16,474	For the Ladies I know some men that would take offense to this........... __________________ I love my Victory Cross Country Tour 106. Smells like Victory! Ultra's are Limited There are two types of Harley riders. Those that trailer them and those that push them. The most Interesting Man in the World "Find the things in life you don't do well and don't do those things" Member # 0005

08-24-2007, 01:06 AM	#5
vulcanvixen Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: San Diego County, CA Posts: 350	For the Ladies LMAO

08-24-2007, 08:16 AM	#6
socwkbiker Top Contributor Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Jefferson City, MO Posts: 6,272	For the Ladies Why is it VV finds this stuff so funny? ??? __________________ Jeff Platz VBA #0002 VBA VP-Global B.A.C.A. Hoss 2005 "StrongBear" Black/Silver Todd and BD

08-24-2007, 08:20 AM	#7
Guest Posts: n/a	For the Ladies She must be a man hater!! ;) Disclaimer: No offense intended to any man haters out there. <marquee>SMITE ME MY CHILDREN!!!!</marquee>

08-24-2007, 08:30 AM	#8
trip VBA Founder Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Lindale, Texas Posts: 6,846	For the Ladies Man hater...........I work with several of them. No offense to the working man haters out there. __________________ Robert "Trip" Hilliard VBA/KawaNOW - Founder/Past President VBA # 00001 Trip's Website Custer 09, 18 / Maggie Valley 11 / Eureka Springs 09, 17 / Antlers 09, 10, 11, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18 Texas Hill Country / Deals Gap / Colorado / Wyoming / Montana / Utah / More trips for Trip

08-24-2007, 08:54 AM	#9
socwkbiker Top Contributor Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Jefferson City, MO Posts: 6,272	For the Ladies But without us, who would kill bugs? BD's face can only be in so many places at once. No offense to any bugs who may or may not have been killed. __________________ Jeff Platz VBA #0002 VBA VP-Global B.A.C.A. Hoss 2005 "StrongBear" Black/Silver Todd and BD

08-24-2007, 09:08 AM	#10
Guest Posts: n/a	For the Ladies <marquee> </marquee>

08-24-2007, 11:56 AM	#11
vulcanvixen Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: San Diego County, CA Posts: 350	For the Ladies SWB.....You're ok dude.....love your comments!! lol BTW....love men, just gotta laugh at the obvious! Takes two to tango, after all..........

10-27-2007, 12:58 PM	#14
Guest Posts: n/a	For the Ladies </marquee>

10-27-2007, 01:02 PM	#15
socwkbiker Top Contributor Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Jefferson City, MO Posts: 6,272	For the Ladies Talking out your ass again? __________________ Jeff Platz VBA #0002 VBA VP-Global B.A.C.A. Hoss 2005 "StrongBear" Black/Silver Todd and BD

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Bike gear for the ladies.	boyd	Australian Group	2	08-15-2010 11:58 PM
Ladies Night Out	Cajunrider	Lighter Side/Jokes	1	07-28-2009 09:00 PM
Two Little Old Ladies	rooster1	Lighter Side/Jokes	0	12-30-2008 11:22 AM
Old Ladies	jmorrow	Lighter Side/Jokes	4	11-15-2008 04:52 PM
ladies wants and gets	mmartin	Lighter Side/Jokes	2	07-24-2008 11:41 PM