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Old 03-18-2008, 11:05 PM   #1
Scoot   Scoot is offline
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30 things you'll never hear a woman say:

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper, too. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

3. Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!

4. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

5. Bar food again!? Kick ass!

6. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

7. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

8. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

9. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?

10. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

11. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass.

12. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

13. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

14. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!

15. You are so much smarter than my father.

16. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

17. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

18. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

19. You're so sexy when you're hung over.

20. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

21. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

22. I'll be out painting the house.

23. I love it when you ride your Nomad, I just wish you had more time to ride.

24. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

25. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

26. Your mother is way better than mine.

27. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

28. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire?

29. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

30. Look! My a$$ is fatter than yours.





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Old 03-19-2008, 04:27 AM   #2
beezer   beezer is offline
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30 things you'll never hear a woman say:

only in a perfect world brother
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Old 03-19-2008, 07:05 AM   #3
pick187   pick187 is offline
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30 things you'll never hear a woman say:

LOL
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Old 03-19-2008, 09:20 AM   #4
socwkbiker   socwkbiker is offline
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30 things you'll never hear a woman say:

Aaahhh, we can dream.
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Old 03-19-2008, 10:01 AM   #5
MarkG   MarkG is offline
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30 things you'll never hear a woman say:

The list is pretty close. My non-riding wife, married 25 years, is the sport junkie. There are a couple of numbers I have actually heard.
#23 - It's a nice day, I figured you would be out on the bike. (I'm gone.)
#4 - I had no idea what teams were playing, she made the comment when I came out of the bathroom.
#10 - We were in a restaurant having dinner, the game was good, she was not leaving.
#20 - Is not accurate. Shop before football, stop for football, go back to shopping after football.
#25 - Surprised me, however she had other things to do and it was on her way.
So there are rare exceptions. I still like #23. After all, "she" allowed me to buy the bike, why am I not out riding it?
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Old 03-19-2008, 10:02 AM   #6
dakals   dakals is offline
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30 things you'll never hear a woman say:

18. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

This one i already do!!!! Atleast when my son is not home!
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Old 03-19-2008, 10:52 AM   #7
ringadingh   ringadingh is offline
 
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30 things you'll never hear a woman say:

Does paradise really exist somewhere? Its comments like that , that most men would do anything for.
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Old 03-19-2008, 11:27 AM   #8
blowndodge   blowndodge is offline
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30 things you'll never hear a woman say:

Shouldn't this be written on marble tablets somewhere????
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