You Might Be a Redneck If....

And now for "Nico's entry" and FIRST PLACE!!!!!!

If you use duct tape for birth control.................




You might be a Redneck!!! click me

[blowndodge]

Wrong forum Gomer........XXX

Originally Posted by Blowndodge "Darksider"

Wrong forum Gomer........XXX

If that's XXX to you Pubis...... then no wonder............. %$#@!!


It's all starting to make sense now. ::)

Was that birth control, emergency underwear, or a redneck bikini waxing?

[dakals]

It looks painful!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by SWB,voices tell me evil things

If you think beer cans are perfectly appropriate Christmas tree ornaments

Here's a pic SWB sent us of his tree last christmas!!

[dakals]

My tree has beer bottles on it!!!!!

[basco]

If you sit around counting up how many cylinders you have around the house

** Redneck Medical Terms
Artery......................The study of paintings.
Benign......................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria....................Back door to cafeteria.
Barium......................What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section............A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan.....................Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................A sheep dog.
Coma........................A punctuation mark.
D&C.........................Where Washington is.
Dilate......................To live long.
Enema.......................Not a friend.
Fester......................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................A small lie.
Genital.....................Non-Jewish person.
Hangnail....................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent....................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff...............A Doctor's cane.
Morbid......................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates....................Cheaper than day rates.
Node........................I knew it.
Outpatient..................A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis......................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative..............A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...............Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................Pretty near killed him.
Secretion...................Hiding something
Seizure.....................Roman emperor.
Tablet......................A small table.
Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor.......................More than one.
Urine.......................Opposite of you're out
Varicose....................Near by

Originally Posted by suennico

** Redneck Medical Terms
Artery......................The study of paintings.
Benign......................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria....................Back door to cafeteria.
Barium......................What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section............A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan.....................Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................A sheep dog.
Coma........................A punctuation mark.
D&C.........................Where Washington is.
Dilate......................To live long.
Enema.......................Not a friend.
Fester......................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................A small lie.
Genital.....................Non-Jewish person.
Hangnail....................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent....................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff...............A Doctor's cane.
Morbid......................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates....................Cheaper than day rates.
Node........................I knew it.
Outpatient..................A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis......................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative..............A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...............Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................Pretty near killed him.
Secretion...................Hiding something
Seizure.....................Roman emperor.
Tablet......................A small table.
Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor.......................More than one.
Urine.......................Opposite of you're out
Varicose....................Near by

Now.. that there's funny right there. If you don't think that there's funny, you need to leave.

You might be a redneck if you've ever been hospitalized after a chili cookoff.

[gopjohnny]

If you like David Allen Coe (even the XXX album) you might be a redneck


I like to play Hank Williams Jr. records just as loud as they will go
I'm into Lynyrd Skynyrd
The Allman Brothers and David Allan Coe
I like Willie, Waylon, George, and Merle
And alot of ZZ Top
They play country, soul, rock and roll
I really like Kid Rock

Chorus
And I'm a redneck
A rock-n-roll son of the south
I don't like no new wave disco bands around
I'm gonna drink a couple dozen beers
Go out and jam some gears
I'm a long haired redneck rock-n-roll son of the south

I've got a 1965 Harley chopper
It sure makes those women stare
A dead flamingo wrapped around the cowboy hats I wear
I can cuss I can fight I can spit I can belch I can raise all kinds of hell
If you ride to live like I live to ride let me hear some rebel yells

Chorus
And I'm a redneck
A rock-n-roll son of the south
I don't like no new wave disco bands around
I'm gonna drink a couple dozen beers
Go out and jam some gears
I'm a long haired redneck rock-n-roll son of the south

I like my whiskey straight up
Daqueri just makes me ill
If someone touches my cowboy hat I get mad enough to kill
I got a rifle rack in my pickup truck
I'm a four wheelin' maniac
And if you wanna race name the place
I'll show you where it's at muther f**ker

Chorus
And I'm a redneck
A rock-n-roll son of the south
I don't like no new wave disco bands around
I'm gonna drink a couple dozen beers
Go out and jam some gears
I'm a long haired redneck rock-n-roll son of the south

I'm a long haired redneck rock-n-roll son of the south
I'm a long haired redneck rock-n-roll son of the south

You've ever skinny-dipped in an inflatable pool.

You've offered a Sam's Club card as ID

Any of your children were conceived in the back of a Bass boat.

[socwkbiker]

If your 6-month old has more teeth than you do...

If you think it's ok to drink beer in the courtroom, and the judge has one with you...

If granny still goes out and checks the still to make sure her "medicine" is brewing right...

If you've ever used the phrase Hoot 'n Holler...

If over "yonder" is anywhere but where you're standing...

If you understand that "Hoot 'n Holler" is actually a place, and in fact (from where you live) it's just "over yonder".