The mermaid and the cow

Loafer · 12-11-2011, 05:05 PM

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly continue to feed her family now?
In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in he head.
Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself. When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you." The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river.
Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river. The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right." And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.
The youngest son, woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in.
And there he also met the Mermaid. "I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row."
The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?"
The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?" And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?"
Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health."
Then the young fellow asked, "Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"

2x18wheeler · 12-11-2011, 06:24 PM

Oh, that's bad.

**ringadingh** · 12-11-2011, 08:22 PM

davidjmurphy · 12-11-2011, 08:36 PM

Oh man I gotta go watch some more fotball!

**wompus** · 12-11-2011, 11:02 PM

Well, did she bring them back???

Loafer · 12-12-2011, 06:12 AM

All's well back on the farm!

AlabamaNomadRider · 12-13-2011, 04:45 AM

Bad but funny.

stator · 12-13-2011, 02:21 PM

cows rock and they don't complain about anything

Yellow Jacket · 12-14-2011, 04:29 AM

I wonder just how one would go about having sex with a mermaid? Do you suppose it would involve her depositing her eggs on the river bottom and then the suitor would spray his sperm over them? Since her bottom half is a fish, that's how fish do it. Not much fun I believe.

Loafer · 12-14-2011, 06:22 AM

Mermaids are very special. When they are having sexual relations (Bill Clinton) they can't talk ....

**ringadingh** · 12-14-2011, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yellow Jacket

I wonder just how one would go about having sex with a mermaid?

After a few drinks Im sure you would figure something out.

12-11-2011, 05:05 PM	#1
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	The mermaid and the cow On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly continue to feed her family now? In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in he head. Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself. When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you." The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river. Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river. The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right." And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river. The youngest son, woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in. And there he also met the Mermaid. "I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row." The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?" The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?" And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?" Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health." Then the young fellow asked, "Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?" __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

12-11-2011, 06:24 PM	#2
2x18wheeler Advanced Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Bedell, New Brunswick, Canada Posts: 531	Oh, that's bad. __________________ VBA#1838 Blue Knights#70718 2009 HD Ultra Classic 2010 Nomad August 2011-July2012 2008 900 Classic LT February 2009-August 2011

12-11-2011, 08:22 PM	#3
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	__________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951

12-11-2011, 11:02 PM	#5
wompus Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Gainesville, Ga. Posts: 1,950	Well, did she bring them back??? __________________ Mike "WOMPUS' Nieznany 1999 Nomad "Fronkensteen" Viet Nam Vet 68-69-70 KawaNOW #00577 I'm sarcastic and have a smart ass attitude. It's a natural defense against DRAMA, BULLSHIT & STUPIDITY!! Last edited by wompus; 12-11-2011 at 11:06 PM.

12-12-2011, 06:12 AM	#6
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	All's well back on the farm! __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

12-11-2011, 08:36 PM	#4
davidjmurphy Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: kentville Nova Scotia Canada Posts: 290	Oh man I gotta go watch some more fotball!

12-13-2011, 04:45 AM	#7
AlabamaNomadRider Sr. Contributor Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Boaz, Alabama Posts: 13,742	Bad but funny.

12-13-2011, 02:21 PM	#8
stator Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: SC Posts: 154	cows rock and they don't complain about anything __________________ Stator 2012 Nomad 1700

12-14-2011, 04:29 AM	#9
Yellow Jacket Top Contributor Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Fayetteville, Georgia Posts: 5,792	I wonder just how one would go about having sex with a mermaid? Do you suppose it would involve her depositing her eggs on the river bottom and then the suitor would spray his sperm over them? Since her bottom half is a fish, that's how fish do it. Not much fun I believe. __________________ Bob KawaNOW/VBA 210 Green/Silver 2006 Patriot Guard Riders 2009

12-14-2011, 06:22 AM	#10
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	Mermaids are very special. When they are having sexual relations (Bill Clinton) they can't talk .... __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email] Last edited by Loafer; 12-14-2011 at 11:54 AM.