Retirement bonus

**wompus** · 01-05-2012, 09:08 AM

Attention, this is a joke.. this didn't really happen!! (it's called humor....)

The Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a
bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two
points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would
be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out
with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He
walked Out with
$96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Master Sargent who,
when asked where he would like to be measured replied,

'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.

But the old Sarge insisted and they decided to go along with him providing
the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Sarge to 'drop 'em,' which
he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the
Sarges weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,

''Where are your testicles?''

The old Sarge calmly replied, '' Vietnam ''.

2x18wheeler · 01-05-2012, 10:47 AM

Good one.

**markclark57** · 01-05-2012, 10:54 AM

It's a shame you have to explain "Joke".

**wompus** · 01-05-2012, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markclark57

It's a shame you have to explain "Joke".

Not for some of the members.....

**markclark57** · 01-05-2012, 04:26 PM

Patricia is quite conservative, she laughed too.

**Top Cat** · 01-05-2012, 04:55 PM

Hey Mike, never thought I would use this but you are so deserving I couldn't resist.

caper · 01-05-2012, 05:19 PM

I rather have my boys :):):)

AlabamaNomadRider · 01-05-2012, 05:22 PM

TC do I detect a little tension?

Good joke Mike. Saw that many years ago. Still funny today.

Loafer · 01-06-2012, 01:27 PM

Lmao !

**ringadingh** · 01-06-2012, 03:27 PM

01-05-2012, 09:08 AM	#1
wompus Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Gainesville, Ga. Posts: 1,950	Retirement bonus Attention, this is a joke.. this didn't really happen!! (it's called humor....) The Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Master Sargent who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old Sarge insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Sarge to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Sarges weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed, ''Where are your testicles?'' The old Sarge calmly replied, '' Vietnam ''. __________________ Mike "WOMPUS' Nieznany 1999 Nomad "Fronkensteen" Viet Nam Vet 68-69-70 KawaNOW #00577 I'm sarcastic and have a smart ass attitude. It's a natural defense against DRAMA, BULLSHIT & STUPIDITY!!

01-05-2012, 10:47 AM	#2
2x18wheeler Advanced Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Bedell, New Brunswick, Canada Posts: 531	Good one. __________________ VBA#1838 Blue Knights#70718 2009 HD Ultra Classic 2010 Nomad August 2011-July2012 2008 900 Classic LT February 2009-August 2011

01-05-2012, 10:54 AM	#3
markclark57 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,108	It's a shame you have to explain "Joke". __________________ 2006 Vulcan 1600 Classic "George III" (Patricia's) 2006 Vulcan 1600 Nomad "Grace" (Mark's) Mark Clark VBA #1619 TaibhseDaid@Gmail.Com "Irish" @ Maricopa County Chapter of B.A.C.A. Phoenix, AZ

01-05-2012, 04:26 PM	#5
markclark57 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,108	Patricia is quite conservative, she laughed too. __________________ 2006 Vulcan 1600 Classic "George III" (Patricia's) 2006 Vulcan 1600 Nomad "Grace" (Mark's) Mark Clark VBA #1619 TaibhseDaid@Gmail.Com "Irish" @ Maricopa County Chapter of B.A.C.A. Phoenix, AZ

01-05-2012, 04:55 PM	#6
Top Cat Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Peoples Republic of New York State Posts: 15,154	Hey Mike, never thought I would use this but you are so deserving I couldn't resist. __________________ Tim "TC" Conley VBA #9 2011 Victory Kingpin mine 2013 Victory Boardwalk -hers [LEFT][COLOR=#000000] [SIZE=4]

01-05-2012, 05:19 PM	#7
caper Sr. Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Nova Scotia, Canada Posts: 1,137	I rather have my boys :):):) __________________ Live in the NOW !

01-05-2012, 05:22 PM	#8
AlabamaNomadRider Sr. Contributor Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Boaz, Alabama Posts: 13,742	TC do I detect a little tension? Good joke Mike. Saw that many years ago. Still funny today. __________________ Gene Cross, Jr. Boaz, Alabama KawaNOW/VBA #1181

01-06-2012, 01:27 PM	#9
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	Lmao ! __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

01-06-2012, 03:27 PM	#10
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	__________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951