Job Application

socwkbiker · 03-24-2008, 01:39 PM

Don't bother looking it up, I'm sure it's fake, but it's funny.

This is reported to be an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to a WalMart in Florida. They hired him because he was honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

REASON FOR LEAVING LAST POSITION: It sucked.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy, dumb, sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that right now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

bear · 03-24-2008, 01:53 PM

I think this guy works for me. Or is it me?

dakals · 03-24-2008, 02:08 PM

lmao!!!!!!!

jussmatt · 03-24-2008, 03:41 PM

Ahh...the good ole days!!! LOL! Now I'm all grown up and know that things like "Desired Position" & "Desired Salary" are only on applications for them to laugh at...and NOBODY gives a crap what "I want to be doing in 5 years!!!"

03-24-2008, 01:39 PM	#1
socwkbiker Top Contributor Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Jefferson City, MO Posts: 6,272	Job Application Don't bother looking it up, I'm sure it's fake, but it's funny. This is reported to be an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to a WalMart in Florida. They hired him because he was honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. REASON FOR LEAVING LAST POSITION: It sucked. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy, dumb, sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that right now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. SIGN HERE: Aries. __________________ Jeff Platz VBA #0002 VBA VP-Global B.A.C.A. Hoss 2005 "StrongBear" Black/Silver Todd and BD

03-24-2008, 01:53 PM	#2
bear Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: South Louisiana Posts: 322	Job Application I think this guy works for me. Or is it me?

03-24-2008, 02:08 PM	#3
dakals Sr. Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Beloit,WI Posts: 4,256	Job Application lmao!!!!!!!

03-24-2008, 03:41 PM	#4
jussmatt Sr. Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Richmond, TX. Posts: 2,588	Job Application Ahh...the good ole days!!! LOL! Now I'm all grown up and know that things like "Desired Position" & "Desired Salary" are only on applications for them to laugh at...and NOBODY gives a crap what "I want to be doing in 5 years!!!"

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