Don't fart in Bed

08-10-2007, 02:53 PM

Don't Fart in Bed

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she pleaded with him to stop because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, "Honey, you were right, all the years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but thanks to some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

unwind2 · 08-14-2007, 02:17 AM

What no comments - That's pretty funny.

socwkbiker · 08-14-2007, 09:27 AM

I think all of us guys provide our own unique wake-up call.

08-14-2007, 02:42 PM

Alright...... it's funnier than sh*t....

01-15-2008, 06:28 PM

lol...this was before MY time...and like Unwind said sooo long ago...pretty funny!!

08-10-2007, 02:53 PM	#1
Guest Posts: n/a	Don't fart in Bed Don't Fart in Bed This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she pleaded with him to stop because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right, all the years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but thanks to some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

08-14-2007, 02:17 AM	#2
unwind2 Sr. Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Dyersburg TN Posts: 2,858	Don't fart in Bed What no comments - That's pretty funny. __________________ Nancy '05 Nomad Blue/Silver Kawanow Member #23 Hubbie-Ken '10 Metalic Black Goldwing

08-14-2007, 09:27 AM	#3
socwkbiker Top Contributor Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Jefferson City, MO Posts: 6,272	Don't fart in Bed I think all of us guys provide our own unique wake-up call. __________________ Jeff Platz VBA #0002 VBA VP-Global B.A.C.A. Hoss 2005 "StrongBear" Black/Silver Todd and BD

08-14-2007, 02:42 PM	#4
Guest Posts: n/a	Don't fart in Bed Alright...... it's funnier than sh*t....

01-15-2008, 06:28 PM	#5
Guest Posts: n/a	Don't fart in Bed lol...this was before MY time...and like Unwind said sooo long ago...pretty funny!!

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