The Simple Things In Life

Loafer · 10-10-2015, 07:24 AM

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced
to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body.
The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Hey honey I'm home. What the ..? )

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length
of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm.......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?
... and God ~ love that pig!)

Bud2rat · 10-10-2015, 08:31 AM

Loafer, where do you find this stuff.....LOL

The Black Knight · 10-10-2015, 05:12 PM

OldSchool · 10-10-2015, 09:45 PM

duffy · 10-11-2015, 11:53 AM

I saw it a couple of days ago on Facebook......it's worth reading twice. Very funny.

lar · 10-11-2015, 01:11 PM

Veeery interesting.

**canuckrider** · 10-12-2015, 09:19 PM

So who the hell timed the pig???

Loafer · 10-13-2015, 07:04 AM

I posted it on FB a couple of days ago as well. Glad some of Y'all liked it.

10-10-2015, 07:24 AM	#1
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	The Simple Things In Life If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home; maybe at work.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Hey honey I'm home. What the ..? ) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity.) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm.......) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig? ... and God ~ love that pig!) __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

10-10-2015, 08:31 AM	#2
Bud2rat Sr. Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: St. Pauls, NC Posts: 2,089	Loafer, where do you find this stuff.....LOL __________________ Robert Torrey VBA# 02077 Vroc# 27672 1996 800A Customized (SOLD) 2001 1500 Nomad (The Mistress) 2013 Voyager 2014 SE Rally - Elkins, WV 2016 SE Rally - Helen, Ga

10-10-2015, 05:12 PM	#3
The Black Knight Top Contributor Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: Italy Posts: 6,020	__________________ VBA 02514 - VROC 35394 VN 800 A - VN 900 Classic VN 1700 Vaquero Usque ad finem.

10-10-2015, 09:45 PM	#4
OldSchool Sr. Member Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Ballwin,MO. Posts: 1,542	__________________

10-11-2015, 01:11 PM	#6
lar Sr. Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Concord, NH Posts: 1,407	Veeery interesting. __________________ Larry Martel 02 1500 Nomad VBA 01565 VROC4737 Patriot Guard Rider

10-11-2015, 11:53 AM	#5
duffy Sr. Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Hot Springs, SD and other warm and dry places Posts: 1,043	I saw it a couple of days ago on Facebook......it's worth reading twice. Very funny.

10-12-2015, 09:19 PM	#7
canuckrider Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Okotoks, AB, Canada Posts: 1,088	So who the hell timed the pig??? __________________ "Sun on my face, wind in my hair, sound of my bike in my ears and peace in my soul..." VBA Member #01514 2008 "Ultra" Nomad 1600, Candy Plasma Blue

10-13-2015, 07:04 AM	#8
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	I posted it on FB a couple of days ago as well. Glad some of Y'all liked it. __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]