In Association with VBA Web : Memorial | Merchandise



Important Info : Please Read!
If this is your first visit to our new forum (est. 9.20.11) and you're already registered on the old forum, you'll have to request a new password in order to log in here. To do so, please Click Here and fill in the proper info. You must use the email address that you originally registered with on the old forum. You will then be emailed a new password (if you don't see it, please check your spam/junk folder). If you have any problems at all, please email us at mail@VulcanBagger.com. Thanks!



Go Back   Vulcan Bagger Forums > General > Off-Topic > Lighter Side/Jokes
Register FAQ Upgrade Membership Community Calendar Today's Posts Search
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 11-25-2008, 07:54 PM   #1
bosko   bosko is offline
Advanced Member
 
bosko's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 818
Don't fart in bed

Don't Fart in Bed


The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife
and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because
it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that
one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to blast them out!

Then one Thanksgiving she was in the kitchen making
turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the
bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and
all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled
on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
Blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, 'Honey, you were right.' '
All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.'

“What do you mean?' asked his wife.
'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I
think I got most of them back in.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2008, 08:49 PM   #2
rooster1   rooster1 is offline
Sr. Member
 
rooster1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Cheltenham , Penna.
Posts: 1,091
Don't fart in bed

  Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2008, 11:24 PM   #3
socwkbiker   socwkbiker is offline
Top Contributor
 
socwkbiker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Jefferson City, MO
Posts: 6,272
Don't fart in bed

__________________
Jeff Platz
VBA #0002
VBA VP-Global
B.A.C.A. Hoss
2005 "StrongBear" Black/Silver

Todd and BD

  Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2008, 03:24 AM   #4
jmorrow   jmorrow is offline
 
jmorrow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Beech Grove, Arkansas
Posts: 1,884
Don't fart in bed

__________________
Jim (Dooley) Morrow
Stanford, Arkansas
2004 Kawasaki Nomad 1500
VBA #146
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2008, 09:14 AM   #5
ringadingh   ringadingh is offline
 
ringadingh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada
Posts: 35,387
Don't fart in bed

LOL
__________________

2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter
VBA #27
VROC #18951
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2008, 11:03 PM   #6
basco   basco is offline
Sr. Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Taylor Tx
Posts: 1,831
Don't fart in bed

Damn it Earl
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Fart Cajunrider Lighter Side/Jokes 8 04-04-2011 02:53 AM
Some Old Fart Facts AlabamaNomadRider Lighter Side/Jokes 0 07-12-2010 10:54 PM
Fart Football Cajunrider Lighter Side/Jokes 5 08-17-2009 11:22 PM
Don't fart in Bed Lighter Side/Jokes 4 01-15-2008 06:28 PM
Poot or Fart? socwkbiker Lighter Side/Jokes 1 09-06-2007 11:55 AM

In Association with VBA Web Join VBA Web Now!

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:58 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.