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03-06-2016, 03:42 PM | #1 |
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Placerville, CA
Posts: 2,947
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Man Rules
MAN RULES
AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.) WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE THESE ARE OUR RULES! PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE! 1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS. 1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN. 1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL. 1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE: SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK! STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK! OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK! JUST SAY IT! 1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION. 1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR. 1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS. 1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US. 1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE. 1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF. 1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS. 1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE... 1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.. PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS. 1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE. 1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.. 1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY. 1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS. 1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES. 1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES. 1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE! 1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING... PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH... PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!
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Jim Diebolt 2015 Vulcan 1700 Voyager ABS The Black Kaw 2005 Vulcan Nomad Sold 2006 Honda 1800 VTX (Freebie) Sold 2008 Harley Ultra Classic Sold 2001 Harley Ultra Classic Sold Hangtown, Kalifornia VBA #2625 |
03-06-2016, 05:09 PM | #2 |
Sr. Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: St. Pauls, NC
Posts: 2,089
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Very true indeed. This man should get an award....really.
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Robert Torrey VBA# 02077 Vroc# 27672 1996 800A Customized (SOLD) 2001 1500 Nomad (The Mistress) 2013 Voyager 2014 SE Rally - Elkins, WV 2016 SE Rally - Helen, Ga |
03-06-2016, 05:33 PM | #3 |
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada
Posts: 35,387
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That was written by a very smart man!
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2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951 |
03-07-2016, 08:50 AM | #4 |
Sr. Contributor
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 18,287
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Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email] |
03-12-2016, 12:40 PM | #5 |
Top Contributor
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Italy
Posts: 6,040
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VBA 02514 - VROC 35394
VN 800 A - VN 900 Classic VN 1700 Vaquero Usque ad finem. |
03-25-2016, 08:29 PM | #6 |
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: 6th Floor up at the The Nervous Hospital up in East Central State, NC
Posts: 7,454
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1. If you fight a pair of pants on your ass. Don' ask if the pants make your ass look big.
1. When you ask if we think your ass is big give us something to compare it to like the Hindenburg or your brothers trophy wife. 1. When you interrupt one of my my favorite TV shows like "Psycho Dad" wearing two different shoes to ask me which one looks better with your dress, when I say you should 'em just like that. Thats honestly how much of a difference it makes to me. 1. My sister warned you that I was a pig before we got married.
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??-Mar.2,2012 "Rocky" My Beloved Dog RIP Mike Tripp VBA#767 '96 800 Vulcan Classic 06 1600 Nomad 07 1600 Nomad "The shoes you buy at the Salvation Army is already been broke in"- Aunt Kawhead |
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