I have a dilemma, need help (long)

[phenrichs]

Ok first some background. In June my wife and I will celebrate our fifth anniversary. We decided we wanted to go out to the Black Hills where we spent our Honeymoon to see the things we missed then. I mentioned we should take the bike and we could ride through all the places we discussed on our honeymoon. This was before the National Rally was scheduled. She agreed and asked how we would do it. I told her that I would either get a trailer or we would get a large T-Bag. Well I started planning and found a deal on a trailer so I bought it. It needs work but it is all small stuff like new tires and updated lights. No fiberglass work at all.
Then Trip posted the dates for the National Rally and I talked to my wife about going. We moved our trip up by exactly one week. Still going on the same days of the week just one week sooner. We would leave our home Wednesday and be in Custer for the last day of the Rally and the rest of the week we do whatever we want.
I have spent the last 4 -5 months preparing and planning so that the trip is as comfortable and as safe as possible for her. If it was just me I would throw 2 days change of clothes in the saddle bags and bungee my leathers to the backseat and go.

Now all of a sudden she is making excuses not to ride with me. She says the bike isn't comfortable enough for he to go that distance. No problem, I told her. WHat don't you like, I can change it. That is why we started planning a year in advance. Two days later she got into a conversation with one of her friends and they told her we better not go unless we have a support vehicle with a trailer because everytime they went they needed one. They also rode a softail HD. No bags no nothing. She mentioned that maybe we should invite some people but the ones filling her head with crap don't even ride anymore.

So I cornered her and asked her to tell me the truth. She said she doesn't feel safe if it is just the two of us going from Sioux Falls to Custer. Which is basically a 6 hour trip, and that includes gas and lunch stops.

So my question is: Are any of you coming across I-90 to go to Custer? I am considering offering to her that we go early so we can hook up with other members otherwise my bike trip is dead and I will have to cage it out there to appease the little woman.

HELP. What do I do?

I have spent months in planning and hundreds of dollars on upgrades for the trailer and the bike.

[waterman]

OP,

Take her on progressively longer trips. This is what I did to the wife. We are now comfortable with longer trips than that. Another thing to do would be either contact your insurance and see if they have towing insurance for the bike. If not, join either ROK or AMA and get their package.

The best things to carry is
1) Cell phone
2) tire plugger and air kit
3) Small toolkit

Much more than that and you will probably need a tow. As far as comfort, I put a trunk on mine and the wife loves it. Makes her sit more upright compared to the backrest.

The only other option would be to trailer the bike out and ride the blackhills and have the cage at the motel. You will have plenty of companions on the rides.

Almost forgot, stop when she wants to on longer trips for her comfort. It may take you longer but she will feel better. It will also make her feel in control (power trip). The worst "I need to stop" was when we were on the road and about 10 miles from a town in the middle of no-where.

[phenrichs]

I have gone through so much of this in planning already that it makes me sick. I planned in about 3-4 extra hours to allow for stops. She just won't discuss it. We have never had a problem like this before. She is telling me now that she gets uncomfortable even on our short runs. I never knew because she never told me. I guess I never considered trailering the bike out there. I do have a buddy with a trailer I am sure I could borrow for the trip. Thanks for the idea. I guess I might be selling my cargo trailer that I bought to pull behind us. Wouldn't need it if we haul the bike.

[roadman]

OP........maybe you should trailer the bike out to Custer.All i know is once my wife gets something in her head it's hard to change her mind. ;)

[abbo]

Op- Like Waterman said- progressively longer trips. Maybe let her do some of the planning , leave her in charge of something. As far as a support vehicle(HA)!!! We went from home to Colorado in July of this year (1799.8 miles round trip) and never once had any problem. Stopped about every 2 hrs for fuel and stretch! On the other hand don't push to hard. Let us know how it is going! BEST OF LUCK ??????

[phenrichs]

Thanks guys. Her other idea was to maybe leave earlier and meet up with some of the other members that may come through our way on their way to Custer but I don't know. It looks like hauling out is the only way I will get her and the bike there at the same time.

[waterman]

OP, don't worry about it. Maybe after she see's and talks with the other wives that she will be more comfortable. At least you will be there even if you have to trailer.

Also, once she rides the bike in a beautiful area she may be more receptive to riding the bike. My wife was also a little worried about riding until we took a scenic trip. After that, she loved it.

[biscuitsngravy]

My wife doesn't ride on my bike at all. Never has, and probably never will. But she loves to ride sweep in her Mustang convertible. On our trip up to the Canadian Rockies we traveled with another couple. My friends wife, who rides with him on extended trips on their Goldwing, rode the whole trip following behind with my wife in her vehicle. My friend and I rode the twisties at will, and they caught up whenever they wanted. The ladies enjoyed the social time and sights, without having to ride on the back of our scoots. AND we had a place to store the stuff we wouldn't have had on the bikes.

I haven't asked my wife to accompany me to the Rally, but I'm sure she would go if she knew she would have company in her car. Perhaps your wife would like to do that??

We are flexible with time for the trip and I had planned to possibly head through Sioux Falls on the way. Let me know if this might work. BnG

[chainsaw]

OP, with all these offers, how can you go wrong and not much of an excuse for your wife.

[jastearns]

My wife and I will be leaving from Fargo and going to Pierre on Sunday but we could meet on Monday south of Pierre at the 83 interchange between Murdo and Presho. That would cover part of the trip together. We will also be pulling a trailer as she likes her creature comforts.

[phenrichs]

Thanks all. I have a buddy that has a trailer. I am checking with him to see if I can use it to haul the bike out. She is cool with that. She is pretty excited about riding with me in the Black Hills. It is just the trip out there she doesn't like. I will probably try to meet up with a group of eastern guys coming across on I90 and follow the pack out from there. I think his trailer is big enough for two so I could be support if needed.

[jastearns]

OP, if she would ride if you were riding with someone else, my wife and I could come thru Sioux Falls and see my brother and sister-in-law on the way back home rather than the way out.

Jerry

[glwilson]

OP;

Don't remember your dates; but my wife and I plan on going. We were going a day or two early and staying a day or two longer.

I will be trailering my bike there -- no doubt. I know some will harass me about it; but quite frankly I would rather get there and ride the whole time.

We will be going through Souix Falls on the way on I-90. If our dates coordinate then we would be more than happy to stop by on the way.

Regarding riding... some just don't like it and there isn't a lot one can do other than what has been mentioned. I always rode slow and in "safe-mode" for a long time before my wife became comfortable with it. She now loves to ride as much as I do -- but as someone mentioned; I don't resist any requests she makes when riding.

Tell her to stop listening to her friends also. I tell you... people can fill one's head with a lot of nonsense about motorcycling -- and likely these people road less reliable bikes than the Nomad; thus needing a support vehicle.

[kioti]

OP
My wife and I will be riding out early on the morning of June 16th and you are welcome to join us for the trip.