Poor Ralph

[texasfisherdude]

Poor Ralph

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Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.



He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph..'



Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'



St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'



Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'



'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm go nna explode!'



'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
'Don 't tell me you've never laid an egg before? '



'Never,' said Ralph.



'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'



Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!



Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.



As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....



Ralph! Wake up. You **** the bed!'