British Humour

redjay · 03-05-2014, 03:10 PM

BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT

These are classified ads which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old, Hateful little bastard. He bites!
___________________________________________
FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
________________________________________________
FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound..
__________________________________________________ _____
COWS and CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

__________________________________________________ ______
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
__________________________________________________ ___________
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
__________________________________________________ _________
And the WINNER is...

FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

(Statement of the Century)
__________________________________________________ _________

A thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.

"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking,

How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
__________________________________________________ __________

cactusjack · 03-05-2014, 03:41 PM

Is there some compelling reason to post them in red text other than to make them hard to read?

redjay · 03-05-2014, 04:02 PM

Is it better now !

cactusjack · 03-05-2014, 04:27 PM

Much better. That red on a grey background was difficult to read.

**ringadingh** · 03-05-2014, 08:53 PM

How true on some of those.

**HwyRider** · 03-05-2014, 11:45 PM

And Billy Connolly can sing too.

Loafer · 03-06-2014, 07:21 AM

hahahaha those are awesome!

redjay · 03-06-2014, 07:36 AM

Billy Connolly also rides motorcycles.

Here he rides Route 66 in a 4 part series. Looks like he is driving a Rewaco trike ?

The Black Knight · 03-08-2014, 04:55 AM

03-05-2014, 03:10 PM	#1
redjay Top Contributor Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ontario Posts: 6,936	British Humour BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT These are classified ads which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. He bites! ___________________________________________ FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog. ________________________________________________ FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.. __________________________________________________ _____ COWS and CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale. __________________________________________________ ______ JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £100. __________________________________________________ ___________ WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. __________________________________________________ _________ And the WINNER is... FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything. (Statement of the Century) __________________________________________________ _________ A thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?" __________________________________________________ __________ Last edited by redjay; 03-05-2014 at 04:08 PM.

03-05-2014, 03:41 PM	#2
cactusjack Mega-Contributor Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Where it doesn't snow...ever! Posts: 21,926	Is there some compelling reason to post them in red text other than to make them hard to read? __________________ Scott "Cactusjack" Hanks VBA #00105 H.O.G. #4250060 2011 H-D Ultra Limited 103ci :: 2011 HD Electra Glide Ultra Limited w/Stage 1 :: Rallies: Mesquite '08\|Custer '09\|Cortez '10\|Crescent City '11\|Kanab '12\|Antlers '12\|Estes Park '13\|Antlers '13\|Orofino '14\|The Dalles '17

03-05-2014, 04:02 PM	#3
redjay Top Contributor Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ontario Posts: 6,936	Is it better now ! Last edited by redjay; 03-05-2014 at 04:10 PM.

03-05-2014, 04:27 PM	#4
cactusjack Mega-Contributor Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Where it doesn't snow...ever! Posts: 21,926	Much better. That red on a grey background was difficult to read. __________________ Scott "Cactusjack" Hanks VBA #00105 H.O.G. #4250060 2011 H-D Ultra Limited 103ci :: 2011 HD Electra Glide Ultra Limited w/Stage 1 :: Rallies: Mesquite '08\|Custer '09\|Cortez '10\|Crescent City '11\|Kanab '12\|Antlers '12\|Estes Park '13\|Antlers '13\|Orofino '14\|The Dalles '17

03-05-2014, 08:53 PM	#5
ringadingh Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada Posts: 35,387	How true on some of those. __________________ 2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951

03-05-2014, 11:45 PM	#6
HwyRider Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: South Shore, MA Posts: 4,629	And Billy Connolly can sing too. __________________ VBA # 02424 VROC # 35971 2010 Nomad 1700 Metallic Diablo Black/Metallic Titanium

03-06-2014, 07:21 AM	#7
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	hahahaha those are awesome! __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

03-06-2014, 07:36 AM	#8
redjay Top Contributor Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ontario Posts: 6,936	Billy Connolly also rides motorcycles. Here he rides Route 66 in a 4 part series. Looks like he is driving a Rewaco trike ?

03-08-2014, 04:55 AM	#9
The Black Knight Top Contributor Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: Italy Posts: 6,065