Quarantined
Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word. Maybe this could explain it! When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do - you forward jokes. And to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get? A forwarded joke. So, my friend, next time when you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.
Quarantined
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
Still haven't decided where to go for Easter - The Living Room or The Bedroom.
Every few days try on your jeans just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard time to the Twilight Zone.
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house , told my dog...we laughed a lot.
So, after this quarantine...will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?
My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.
I'm so excited- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.
Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
Homeschooling is not going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
Quarantine Day 7: I am totally fed up with babysitting my Mother’s grandchildren.
Day 4 of Homeschooling: Not going well, 2 students suspended for fighting, 1 teacher on probation for drinking on the job.
Day 5 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don't have the same teacher next year.”... I think I should be offended but it’s the first thing we’ve agreed on since this school opened.
Day 6 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
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